Todo Por La Camiseta

Buck up

2011-04-01T23:27:00.007+08:00

Sch has ended :) Soccer + Internship up next :) 3 games into the league season now n i must say i really am proud of bzfc. We're really one big family, enjoying playing football with each other, loving each other's company n helping each other. Hope we can all keep this up. Still early days so we still have to keep pressing on, trying our best :) Great job everyone so far :) Internship fingers crossed it'll be settled ASAP. Not sure how it'll turn out. Kinda making progress already so how it'll turn out well. This sem is alright lah. Vomitted blood with MS (cos i just can't do maths) but overall everything went fine. I've no more IS mods which is kinda sad but i'm sure the stuff i still have to take like Operations elective n general electives would be fun... Ya.. Boring life i had. Nth interesting... Bye peeps

Contemplating

2011-02-21T00:50:00.005+08:00

Recently has been thinking quite a bit. Feel my sch life is really screwed up. Haven't done internship. Grades okay but not where i would wanna associate myself with; could do much better. This sem has only 4 mods but the stuff that is happening is > 5 mod. Soccer just had a bad lost to NUS :( The last one especially depressing as i feel it should've been ours but oh well ball is round so kinda got over it. So yah my life is in a mess n i dont know if it'll get any better. If i couldn't get internship i could really kill myself n really get my graduation into a huge mess. Grades... It's quite late already so how much can i turn it around? Trying my best to make all my project a resounding success no matter how hard it is.

And i've been thinking how long can i still play soccer? I not sure if i can / will continue to carry on when i graduate. It'll be a real juggling task n i know it's really hard to do so. So how much attention do i give soccer now? All the attention since it might be my final 2 or 3 tourny? Slack since i wont be taking it beyond sch? And my club situation makes my decision a whole lot trickier.

i'll be reading "The case for FAITH" by Lee Strobel as part of my cell grp material. Hope through looking at the basic of my faith it'll enlighten me regarding my messy life too. I really need a much more disciplined spiritual life that i currently am. I should not be contended with where i am in my walk with God right now.

I BLEW UP. SERIOUSLY.

2011-02-14T14:43:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry but if everyone said B n u still insisted on A, don't expect me to be calm and not flare up in front of everyone. Quite annoyed. First time i really flare up in front of all my groupmates.

New sem; new beginning

2011-01-06T19:31:00.003+08:00

Hi all :) I am updating this thing simply 'cos i am far too bored. I got only 2-day school wk; tues and wed. Then all the lessons either so slack or just end damn early. Was supposed to have one more class but i switched class (from pol science to environmental science) so i missed 1 lesson. So all in all it is a slack start to the semester. But next wk onwards is 3 day sch week; mon-wed.

A new semester. Another soccer competition with SMU. Another shot at the elusive GOLD. I felt every individual has improved and raised their game so it'll be interesting to see what happen as the important thing is still not whether individual improve but whether as a unit we'll get stronger. First chance to see is next fri friendly against bowen. Hopefully it'll kick start things well. Not easy to win IVP(or whateva name they shall give it) as there's more teams compared to SUniG and thus introduction of some tricky opponents too. I personally hope to face my old sch Ngee Ann though that is a tough match as they are POL-ITE champs after all. I wanna play at the Ngee Ann field again after leaving there. Kinda miss it.

Try harder :)

2010-12-13T13:49:00.002+08:00

Well hello all of ur who flooded my blog views over the past 48 hrs. If u're looking for answers n hoping to find it here then let me say u won't find it here. Try harder elsewhere. Goodbye n good luck ;)

Oh well. Even though i didn't play much this tournament, it can still take its toll on me mentally. Really drained. But i still have to go on for SMU :( NVM. All for the sake of winning GOLD for IVP/wateva they will call it. Its the only thing missing from my trophy cabinet. I will push myself hard n hope it'll be a season to remember for SMU Women Soccer for all the right reasons. It really pains me a team with so much potencial always falls just short so hope this time will be finally our time. LETS GO SMU WOMEN SOCCER!!!

Holidays

2010-12-01T23:05:00.003+08:00

Day 1 - Lunch @ Fish n Co. + Rapunzel with AIS grp mates.
Day 2 - Cage with Cell grp
Day 3(Today) - Slack
Tmr - FYP poster day which marks the conclusion of FYP

<3 my holidays

Actually exam week was tough for me 'cos i was having slight fever + heavy running nose so can't really revise but thank God when it got really bad n i got no mood to study it's the easier papers already. When its the tougher papers i can still hang on n study.

Mon was really fun with my grp mates who r high as they just finished their exam. I finished a bit earlier so the happiness died down a bit. Rapunzel was okay. Family kind off movie.

Then tues walked from cage to lesiure mall in the rain 'cos no one had umbrella. So today the running nose kinda came back but guess should be alright. Anyway, cage with guys is not easy no matter what. Learnt a lot n hope to remember them.

Grp stage for challenge cup finished with a 2-2 draw. Okay lah. Both teams was quite happy to rest players n test things out. But i think we got more options to rest and arion had to start with a few more of their key players. But who cares. Both through. Both share pts. Everyone happy.

Got to start :) I was really shocked to get to start at RM as i was thinking even if i get to play it should be LB /RB which i am getting used to already. When coach was done saying the defence i was like okay none of my biz already. But i am not complaining since getting an involvement is a blessing for me already. Just that i struggled to impose myself. Running nose which acts up again when the match starts is no excuse i feel. So all i can say is i didn't grab possibly my only chance to try n show that i can hold myself as a attacking player too. I just blew it. To think i played RM for SMU before. Should give myself a whack in the head for it. So justified to take me off.

So semis against BA. Will be meeting a lot of ppl whom i learnt a lot from while i was trng with them for SMU. See how loh. I only looking forward to trng with SMU again from next week onwards. I really need to train. Otherwise i can't expect myself to be sharp and fit during match days.

Living the soccer life

2010-11-16T00:21:00.004+08:00

First of all, i would like to congrats NGEE ANN ON WINNING POL-ITE :D I am so proud of them as a senior. I still remember my final pol-ite where we won silver which is the first medal in a couple of years. Now after not managing to topple ITE for a couple of years, this batch manage to did it :) I am so happy for your performance and i hope your can build on this and stay strong because being a ex-player i really wish your to continue doing well, except against my current allegience SMU ;) Having the "team to beat" status will be different. Job really well done and I will see your on the pitch soon, be it friendly or competition.

And ya challenge cup has started. Played 1st game against U16. Decent start by us. 5-0. Had to be patient to break down this youthful energetic side. Got to play :) Glad my mates came up to me after the game and said i did well :) They like a move i made. The ball is down the flank n i was defending it. Then i saw the opposition was beside/infront of me so i just drag the ball back and thank God manage to trick her n retain posession.

Was hoping the team's momentum can continue against ISA but oh well. POSTPONED. Rained off. Hopefully we can grow stronger as the competition continues. Personally, i can only say i am still learning the trade and hope to execute whatever role i am given even better. I'll just treasure every minute i have. I think i am lucky the friendlies against Arion n Police help me adjust and i just keep my calm n try to remember everything during the u16 game. Those games help my confidence too. And THAT game against the guys, which i did pathetically as (i think) i commit into tackles too much, help my learning curve. I really hope to grow as a LB for AMK.

For SMU, simple; express myself. I am blessed to be able to do what i like to do for them and i hope to use it to help SMU win games. I really wanna savour winning sth for my sch as so far it's ONLY 2nd for POL-ITE (Ngee ann in 2008) n SUniG (SMU in 2009 which i vow to win again as i nvr had my medal) :( It'll be sweeter than winning for AMK i feel and i really really hope to taste it.

Leadership

2010-11-01T23:23:00.004+08:00

Being reading this book recently as part of LEAP. I find the most interesting part is where they talk about 5 different kinds of leaders; compulsive, narcissistic, paranoid, codependent, passive-agressive. It got me thinking not about what kind of leader i am, but rather what kind of person I am. You do not have to be a leader to think about such stuff. No real conclusion yet. There's some checklist n stuff n then can compare but haven't really got down to trying it yet. Besides, i think its just trying to arbitarise (try to put numbers into stuff) sth that cannot be calculated by numbers.

CAN I QUIT SCHOOL?!

2010-10-25T23:37:00.003+08:00

Today met with FYP to gather her feedback regarding our progress. She dropped a bombshell and quite a bit of the work my grp have done so far will go down the drain. Haizzzzzzz

Got my Biz Process mid-term. Flunk it. First ever test i flunk. Even worst that the paper of the hardest stats prof when i bid for her class having 0 stats background. Haizzzzzzzzzzz

I LOST SO MUCH ENERGY AND MOTIVATION TO DO WORK, TO STUDY. Can i quit school?

FML

2010-10-24T23:45:00.005+08:00

How ironic my 300th post on this blog has to be this. But life has been so bad recently. I have so many things to clear ( n i am not talking abt only sch work), when i haven't clear it just adds on, i wanna kick some balls but no time + nowhere to do so + blah blah blah (haiz), everyone around me just keeps expecting so much from me as though i'm a genius.

I want school to end so that i won't have as much stuff to settle. I wish all my project + friends stop wanting to meet me at same time. I don't have a double. I wish i am enjoying my football, trng for sth impt regularly. I wish ppl know my limits n stop thinking my brain is fill with knowledge. It is not.

FML.

I'm back :)

2010-09-30T23:12:00.004+08:00

Hello one and all :) Been really busy with school stuff recently so i'm back here given that it's the start of my mid-term break. Yup. I have nth on fri so my holiday starts on thur evening after my last lesson. WOO HOO.

SUniG ended like 2 days ago. Preety eventful tournament i must say. We did have some slight problem holding our game tgt in 2nd half or when the opponent places more pressure. Our tournament almost fall apart but i am glad it's laid aside now with the nice 3-0 win on tues. Now in next tournment i hope it'll stay that way and we can really finally get there instead of always so close yet so far. I WANT TO FINALLY WIN STH IN SCHOOL SOCCER.

Against sim took me quite a while to calm down n focus as it was nikita as ref n AHZHEN!!! as linesmen. WTH. Nvr had so many familar eyes staring at me when i play. It's just self-pressure lah as i am sure they just took it normally. Chated with them at the end of match to ask their view. Nikita said i too honest as she's waiting for me to use my small size to advantage n fell down against the biggest gal on the field. She said like i just insisted on staying on my feet. Well... will think through about it. Ahzhen best... Said i like a big ball on the field; so fat -.- But they realise i was a bit slow today n yes i am because i actually had a shin knock on sun against police. Actually i was contemplating telling coach i'm not 100% physically. Then next moment i'm in starting lineup. So i like aiyah just survive that match.

Up next is pesta sukan n challenge cup for AMK. Tourny coming in thick n fast... Friendlies so far had been okay. Hopefully we can still continue to grow before the match days begin.

School has been quite relaxing this sem due to me taking 4 mods + FYP. Thank God. Just had FYP mid-term presentation today. Went quite well i feel. Just some stuff overlooked which prof mention but nth too major. Ethics which had been really 'idiot' to me at the beginning is becoming quite a interesting lesson though i hate my packed tuesday(except soccer trng that is). BP is still quite boring but at least more stuff got into my head now. EWS is quite frustrating at times but okay lah....

Enough is enough

2010-09-11T21:42:00.004+08:00

How on stupid earth do u deal with ppl who are more hard to deal with than kids?

I don't wanna care anymore. Anything i do doesn't work. Since they dont seem to wanna care about it just let me walk out. Football and studies are much more worthy of my attention.

Smile - Charlie Chaplin

2010-08-26T21:52:00.001+08:00

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking.

When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun shining through For you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide every trace of sadness.

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying.

You'll find that life is still worthwhile- If you just smile.

Drained...

2010-08-25T11:23:00.004+08:00

WAH! Realised i got a VERY special viewer from quite a faraway place :) Ola! How are you doing? Hope everything's fine so far...

So school's begin. Wk 2 now. And i want holiday to come already :( BP class is SO damn boring. Ethics... Sigh... I wanted a module where i can begin to grapple some of the issues but end up i feel i will be disappointed... But nvm... Life as student is bliss...

YOG + Sch + soccer = drop dead everytime u got home... Really really tired nowadays when i got home... But guess since YOG duty is over now should be much better. YOG duty is so great. I'm always blessed by God to have such good experiences.

Felt my form/standard has dropeed quite a fair bit recently. But guess all i have to do is to bite hard, work hard, fight on. I'll soon be back to where i am more pleased with my own showing. At the moment i'm like Why so un-energetic? Why so slow? Why so weak technically? at myself.

Refreshing

2010-08-10T13:57:00.004+08:00

Talking to you right now again after so long seeing you on sideline as a spectator or on TV since you (and I) left was really refreshing. You never fail to brighten up my day. But you startled me u still got my number. As though got any use even though got a bit of use now...

School starting soon. I am quite happy amazingly. Guess it's much better than the state i am in now which is +vely is flexible -vely is messy.

Zhenghua sports carnival is D-O-N-E. Woo Hoo! Well done everyone ;) I think the kids and the teachers enjoyed themselves which is the most impt thing n we acomplished that.

FYP acceptance presentation is on thur. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh. Hope our project got accepted.

SMUWS's tour of JC's (kinda) have been very fruitful so far. See encouraging signs. Guess i can just sit on bench. hahahaha. Really hope we can be champs. This is the only stuff missing from my cabinet - being part of sch champions. Couple of 2nd place. Not much time left for me to do so so i will fight to make sure it can come true.

How low can I go?

2010-08-01T01:36:00.005+08:00

Soccer has always been a huge part of my life one way or another. Being happy through soccer has so been 2nd nature already. But haizzzzzzzz how low can I go?

My calf still refuses to shake the injury off. It's a lot better already but still not like 100% no pain n aches n stuff... When will it be over???? Haizzzzzzzzzzzz

And i suck as a soccer player. Don't bother telling me otherwise. I was @ AMK's BBQ and i was sitting down thinking (maybe emo-ing) but the only reason why i am where i am is 'cos of my big fat reputation being trained up by so many good coach/team/wateva and that everyone cares so much about my development as a player. I feel really blessed n thank all who played a part in it. I hope i repayed it at one point of another but let me tell u big fat reputation counts for nth. Forget it lah, i can't play this thing call soccer being someone who has such good conditions to play good soccer. Everyone in the whole wide world can.

If u r in my position with all the s*** + be where i am right now n hear what i am hearing, u'll then understand why i really feel like breaking down...

pang sae is not fun

2010-07-23T00:25:00.007+08:00

Suppose to help out @ zhenghua primary for their mini-olympics trng today. Really looking forward to seeing the soccer kids again. Reach already. Cancelled due to weather :( Best part: the kids are happily playing as its just ground kinda wet.
Sat friendly match against TJC. TJC pang sae us :(
Sun tourny. Could've join but we nvr in the end. So can say we ps

This is totally not fun :(

This is a warning to VJC alumni to better not pang sae next sat friendly. But will be a tough game i feel given the prestige of its alumni. Hope we can do well to start us on a good note on our SUniG preperations.

It's the climb...

2010-07-07T00:35:00.004+08:00

Just kicked a ball for the 1st time in 2 weeks just now during trng. U can nvr imagine my delight my physio said i should alright; just be careful. Kinda like a discharge. Calf felt fine though i feel given more time i think i can go at much more sharpness and pace. But guess what; my cough + lost voice.. Aiyah wateva... Got to me instead. LOL... But overall it is kinda okay "feel my way back into the game" trng session. Stamina like s***.

WC semis soon ;) Holland FTW! Then its zzzz all the way till RP friendly @ 6pm. Thank God i stay near there. Can sleep a lot more....

How do i climb back up again?

2010-06-29T17:10:00.002+08:00

I am still learning how to walk up and down the stairs normally :( Let alone having the strength to use it for football :(

Physio had been ... But i <3 the massage

It sucks to be injured

2010-06-14T01:19:00.003+08:00

Haizzzzzzzzzzzz

Guess i push myself too much. After playing against YW @ start of june i hurt my achilles and/or the muscle on the outisde of my right foot. Not sure what it's called.

Then went SMU trng. Bad

Sat played diva + league game. Jia lat.

Tues SMU trng. GG completely.

Till now i am feeling uncomfort on my right foot. Sometimes good sometimes not good.

Haizzzzzzz. Hate this. Luckily its post-season.

What if?

2010-05-20T15:07:00.003+08:00

You all know how much i love football.

But recently so much has been going on in my life. It's zapping my passion for it. In fact, for everything in life.

And to think this is only the beginning.

How to I deal with this?

Boring

2010-05-18T00:13:00.005+08:00

I am beginning to find blogging boring. No idea why. Maybe just nth much to write as its same old boring of my soccer. That's all my life is abt other than church n school.

Was at YOG trng for my volunteering 'job'. Got sponsor means got sponsor. I could've taken up to 3 pet bottles of coke(original, zero, light) free of charge but i took only one which is the original one in the end as i not that thick skin lah. Good prelude to YOG duty where maybe free flow. Last time AYG is 100 plus (i think) free flow cans of them.

So well... picked up my 2nd WPL winner medal. I feel i really learn a lot this season because i have to step up my game because i am playing more so i have to justify them. Still a lot of inconsistancy and feel i am still not that good enough yet but getting closer to reaching the kind of tempo i wish i can bring to a game/ can play.

I AM PLAYING DIVA :) Am so happy 'cos i thought the team couldn't be formed already. But thank God got one formed in the nick of time. Now to do well. Fico is auspicious place for me given i finished 3rd n 4th in both tourny there so i hope i can carry on this good streak.

Most horrible feeling ever felt

2010-05-03T11:03:00.003+08:00

Why on earth did I leave u alone there? You were so nice and encouraging to me and yet when you need some I wasn't there and left u alone up there :(

Bummer state

2010-04-27T11:15:00.004+08:00

Its summer holidays now till aug i think so i am in bummer state untill i have to do my CIP which is organising this sports carnival for zhenghua pri. Then i got YOG volunteer too :) Really looking forward to that one. Got some of my results n honestly speaking its okay lah. Some components i am a bit disappointed but overall its okay.

So round 2 of WPL started and back we go to turf city against ISA. The field is in quite bad condition compared to the last time we're there where its just very bouncy due to it being hard. This time its uneven n wet. Got to play :) A bit of patchy play here n there from us but good and impt win nonetheless.

Got to play :) Though quite a short one actually. I don't really like playing LB as i have to learn to control myself n not play like LM. Last time around i went in as LM and it was so easy to ease into the game. But well i think i like that i can have that bit more time on the ball as a LB and that i can help start attack by spraying passes. I felt this time i went in and give quite a jekell n hyde performance as attacking wise i have no problems (expected) but defensive wise they give me some food for thought. And it doesn't help that i am @ far end so i can't really hear coach but have to rely on myself + ahying on my defensive positioning.

Next game against police will be interesting :) It'll be in my teritory. Well.. not exactly my sec sch (its @ marsiling sec) but still near my sch (fuchun sec. The sch ur see as ur are nearing singapore american sch) to an extend. At least same area. Hopefully it'll be 4th time lucky n i finally get a hold on myself against them as i always seems to do really badly against them.

S-U-M-M-E-R HOLIDAY!!!

2010-04-16T22:44:00.004+08:00

Shall update a bit before i go for another round of studying for my 2 exam papers tmr.

Update on my foot. Metatarsal getting better. I can walk normally now. Just that after i play soccer / just run / kick ball, it'll be quite bad. I hope it's slowly but surely recovering. A huge risk i took given that i could've aggrevate the situation and end up really break it (now just small crack) but the worst is almost over.

Had 2 papers so far and thank God so far so good. It could've been bad but by grace of good it's fine. But i am quite sleepy while revising because of the weather which is so sleep inducing.

Thank God we beat YW. It could've been a potencial banana skin given the circumstance but i am glad we won. Didn't get to play this time around as compared to usual where i would play. Did get quite affected by it to be honest. But well... Life's like that. Move on and do my job whenever i go in; raise the tempo of the game.

Only 2 days since dorcas left n felt quite weird already. Thur training like someone missing. Someone with so much enthusaism... But trng was fine. Struggled quite a fair bit to get into tempo but turn out okay in the end. Still i feel not as good as i usually did over the past few weeks. And then 'cos we're playing on artifical turf + it rained = very wet + my feet. Legs really heavy today. But guess should be fine by game against arion. Hope i get to play n my feet hold up.

Oh well...

2010-04-02T17:10:00.006+08:00

@ a LAN shop now using internet so that i can pass time while waiting for time to go to Bekah's 21st. Ultra noisy with all those rowdy kids...

SCHOOLS'S OUT! SOCCER'S IN! I'm done with all my lesson for this sem :) Left exams only now...

So... Wed i tried to play street soccer to see if the metatarsal pain got better but it got worst after i played so i went to TTSH A&E to have x-ray. Nth too serious. Doctor said even if hairline its just a bit so it didn't really show on the x-ray. Phew... But he gave me quite a lot of painkiller; even those that are stronger than parcetamol.

But i still 'metal tooth' and went trng. Same as the last time @ kovan; just play small-sided. Quite fun actually with all those commentators... hahaha. But then someone step on THAT VERY METATARSAL! AHHHHH!

Then went cage with some of them. REALLY REALLY FUN :D We were actually having problem finding ppl as we had just enough for 2 side. Then we saw yuki and her friends. One female n 1 guy. That guy is not bad given that he's a coach i think. Actually i feel its fun because everyone were fun to play with. Everyone were challenged football-wise by the good company but also everyone remembered to joked around too. So good job dorcas for thinking of this ;) Just make sure got more ppl next time. But then ming sprain her ankle, ernie also sth happened and then my feet... :( SIGH

Then me, angeline, gina, sharon, ernie and lia went macs. Chated quite a bit and had a reasonable amount of jokes going around. But none could be bigger than the one i got when i tried to upload the photo we took. On my handphone its the photo. But on my laptop its some blur thingy....WEIRD...

Disappointment happens; just a matter of how we bounce back

2010-03-28T01:18:00.006+08:00

Oh well... Trying very hard to cheer myself up after losing to NYP on tues to complete a mix season (we have +ve and -ve) and today a draw against BA. Kinda demoralising but oh well.... I've had much more sour limes thrown at me before. Now to make sure this streak stops. Must start the winning habit again.

Anyway, i'm having a emergency icing session. It was after the match against BA and i was walking around trying to find the match ball. Then while i was walking back the group of guys playing somehow had a ball very high up in the air and towards me. So instinctively i try to control/catch it. But because i was barefoot i got no support so my right foot kinda on my toes. Then it crumbles beneadth it and now my metatarsal is very numb and pain. @1st was damn freaking pain. Then it subsided a bit but now at home its freaking pain again. ARGH! Hope it's just bruises/sprain/sth. Pls don't break a bone(but i think its fine since i can bend it but with max pain). Not at this juncture. Actually my peak soccer period is kinda over now that SMU season is over but still... Not at this juncture.

So what?

2010-03-22T10:54:00.006+08:00

Well.. I'm typing this while i'm waiting for 1 project grpmate to arrive. The whole team, except him, has arrived and we've discussed our part already. He overslept. Sigh... But ya.. I'll be having 5 freaking presentations over the next 2 weeks; 4 grp 1 individual. And i haven't count the reports and assignment stuff i had to do.

Okay... So i'm so busy this blog thingy is VERY dead. And i just look through my last entry i agar-agar know what to catch up on.

NTU 5 - 1 SMU. Le sigh. If only we can hold on to our 1-0 lead.

Police 0 - 4 AMK. Shall not spent time talking abt how it went n bore the hell out of your

NUS 2 - 1 SMU :'( No more finals.

Sporting 1 - 3 AMK. Again shall not spent time making ur bored.

Well... To be honest, i am still reeling from not being in NUS invitational final. As is really moody. So what if i played more minutes than ever before? I want to be in the final. I feel i really let everyone down as i feel. Maybe i shouldn't play n be on bench then we'll be in the finals.

Anyway, thanks michelle for always remembering me and SMUWS. So sweet of u to always sms to encourage us before our games :)

Anyway, for school, internship process has been making me vomit blood. I really wonder why SMU so rigid abt everything. But well.... I have to live with it since i'm in this sch. I might miss out on this internship during YOG because of it. Damn...

Last the distance

2010-03-07T21:47:00.008+08:00

Hi stalkers :) I am sure your are looking to my views regarding below so here it is....

I SURVIVED PLAYING 2 MATCHES IN A SINGLE DAY :) I will have another go at attemping this on 20th march where I have to play 2 competitive games (NUS in morning & Sporting Westlake in evening). AND IT WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY TOO :)

Morning woke up @ 5.30am so that i can make it to VJC @ 7.30am. Very sleepy but well... sacrifices for soccer. The match started like fairytale. 3-0 up @ half-time. Then it continued on in 2nd half when we score another one. 4-0 now. Then kinda lose focus n stuff. VJC scored 3 which is quite amazing. So 4-3 in the end. But i like the stuff i saw in the match. I like our good showing which got us to 4-0 and how everyone just dug deep and hold on in the end. Just don't provide me with this kind of heart attack again.

Well... Didn't really push myself too much to be honest untill when i went back into the game in the 2nd half due to my game in afternoon so must last the distance. My 1st half i agree with what everyone said; was good for some parts but if stronger team I will face a lot of problem getting into the game due to my flawed sense of positioning. 2nd half went back in as striker for a while before going back to my expected right-mid position. Knew i had to wrestle back control of the game but felt i didn't help in the mission actually.

Then after going back to school to settle some stuff i make my way to turf city for ISA game. LEAGUE IS FINALLY UPON US :) Oh well... The match done n dusted within 10 mins where we scored 2 goals. Won 5-1 in the end. Good morale boosting start for us considering our preperation was not really ideal. Now to last the distance to make sure it's champion at the end. Oh ya... Lia scored a nice hat-trick. Told her to get a match ball back home but she laughed it off n didn't took one in the end.

Came in as a sub during 2nd half as left-mid. Thank God i still got the final bit of energy to summon. And thank God i felt i did okay. Maybe 'cos i play in morning so i was a bit more sharp n alert so didn't need that much time to get into the match tempo. Then it's left-mid which i have most experience in which helps too. So i'm saved by so many things actually. I still have a lot of learn before i grew to become WPL class as i feel i'm still struggling to cope with EVERYTHING about it.

And thanks a lot Halu for that simply SWEET geture of yours :)

Now looking ahead to NTU ON TUES and POLICE ON SUN!!! TIME TO BURY DEMONS!!! And no better demons to bury as well. SMU really need a win against NTU to bury any fears about them that has build up over the years. Came close a few times and who knows tues might be the time. And oh ya... On 31st during finals too. Either one of the dates is fine. Then my bogey team police which needs no further explanation if your have been a keen stalker of me. So really impt next 2 matches for me before my out of this world attempt at playing 2 competitive games a day (finger crossed if i do play that is).

Protection

2010-02-28T01:01:00.005+08:00

Crap... So busy with everything that i don't even have time to update this.

After 4 days of soccer in 5 days the widest part of my left foot actually got pain but its okay now...

latest update: league starting this sat against ISA :) Haven't receive full fixture but i knew next game is against my bogey team police. 2nd year in WPL already; i must show that i have stepped up and matured from last year. And hope we have a great season too with plenty of reason to celebrate. Jiayou!

Think a lot of your must be wondering what exactly happen because i really broke down after the RP game last wed. I was really really drained physically and mentally after 3 consecutive days of soccer which includes 2 matches. Then i put in such a crap showing against RP. Then the way the match goes from the ref's decisions to the a wee bit cocky attitude of some of the RP players to me. It all really took a toll on me. But after my mates chat with me i am really fine afterwards. Really thanks all of your who talked to me, told me to just takes things easy. Then there's those who SMS me too. Thanks all.

I still think we can do well in the NUS invitational. If we can get our act together we can win it. Go SMUWS :)

Monday went a bit better for me personally. Played against young women. I feel i lost my momentum in 2nd half. 1st half was okay but 2nd half was really bad. Let them play one-two a bit too easily. But i think its 'cos they stopped trying to take me on and began playing the ball pass me which i must learn to deal with. The match itself nth much to say...

Acid test

2010-02-21T23:16:00.007+08:00

God bless me this week as i had

Mon--> vs Young Women
Tues --> Training
Wed --> vs RP
Fri --> Training

CNY was just like any other. Went M'sia on 1st day but like house sleeping instead of house visiting as i am so sleepy. 2nd day was more interesting as i went Mr Tan's house with my sengkang mates. Eat pizza and watch movie. Can find some of the photos in my fb. And do read the caption as it'll tell u the funny stuff. I AM PROUD TO SAY THROUGHOUT THE CNY I NEVER EAT BAK KWA :)

So with all my excess fats i played in TJC friendly. Think SMU did well despite us having around 20 shots compared to TJC 1 and it's only 2-0 with both VERY late goals. And TJC 1 chance resulted in a goal too but ruled out for offiside. We're getting quite well prepared to take our golden chance to be champions in NUS invitational.

I had to rescue my game in 2nd half as i didn't execute coach's instruction well in 1st half. 2nd half i followed it MUCH better. And i had a wonderful chance too and i am confident i can score thus i volley but it's wide. DAMN!!! Overall i think i did okay only which is not good enough. But a good workout to get my engine going again after CNY. Now to up my gears now that i got it restarted.

Anyway, BEMO I SURE YOU'LL SEE THIS SO PLS UPLOAD THE PHOTOS FROM YOUR DSLR :) THANKS :) (update: u uploaded some of them just as i was typing this so pls continue to do so... HAHAHA.. GOT CHEMISTRY EH...)

Life goes on

2010-02-07T22:27:00.007+08:00

Hi everyone :) I'm fine. Just that feeling so frustrated after doing quite simply pathetic against police just now. Makes me wonder why me this lousy player is still holding on to that number 5 shirt that can brings quite a lot of burden esp since i'm playing for sch too. But well... I'm alright now. Just hope that one day i'll do better against police whom are REALLY becoming my boogy team. I guess their playing style is really my weakness. That's the reason why i usually do better against other team but not them. But sigh... Mark yuki the other time in the friendly @ hougang, this time is shuzi (didn't really catch her name). Why everytime i have to mark police's japs?

Friday i actually had 2 matches @ the same time @ VJC and SAJC which i had to play. But i'm like since i'll be meeting the sengkang ppl on sun i'll help SMU play against SAJC. And michelle made me confused. She just sms me "i'm coming for friendly" sth like that so i thought she's coming for SMU's. It's only when it's raining and she asked for brolly and then she said she's taking 76 then it kinda dawned on me that she should be @ VJC. Kinda funny how we confused each other and sms and talk like we're going same place.

Heard VJC's match went really well :) Well... SMU lost 2-1 but i really like what i see. It's not easy under new coach, new formation, new positions but i felt we did cause more problems to SAJC than they to us. SAJC scored both goals at crucials period where we're beginning to look more likely to score. PLAYED AT AN ATTACKING POSITION :) WOO HOO!!! Right-mid. Not a bad start but had a patch of lost my direction b4 i switch flanks with debs to left-mid. Thanks debs :) Then i really begin to impose myself a lot more. Took some corners which is not that satisfactory as i think i can reach penalty spot last time when i practiced them regularly @ Ngee Ann but i only reach near post against SAJC. And 1 even went straight out. Overall i felt it's not my best performance but glad i am not as rusty as i think. And i think it's the match which i did the most chest control in a game.

And honestly speaking; its refreshing to see ppl enthuastically walk to you to say well done great game instead of you going to them and say so or just felt it's forced from them. You really know you cause quite a bit of problem. And i had a assist too :) Throw in came in, I manage to shake of marker and got a low cross in which vanessa scored. She throughly deserved it for her energetic performance.

Then match just now. SIGH. Actually i think the root to all my problems today is i never warm up. I just did a few passes and okay play while the police ppl did like some drills before playing. 1st half is really really bad. Like being swarmed by blue shirts around me till i am confused. So really really felt me being like the complete idiot during youth league 2 yrs back. If there's anything i did, its i put in a decent deep cross. I intended it that way but it's kinda way more pin point than i expect it to be. Too bad never score but did create a good opening for a chance. A lot of them said it's nice too :) Actually i practice a fair bit of this kind of crosses b4 so it's not exactly like moment of inspiration. Other than that it's like the ball keeps getting pump over my head and reach the player (DAMN) or ball being lay back to my right foot instead of my left and thus i can't kick it hard, Ah Zhen told me to go A while coach told me to go B etc. But well... I should've stayed more calm instead of letting it drag my game down further. But thanks everyone for encouraging me on field then like "you can play one", "get a hold on yourself"

So am glad coach took me out, chat with me and let me regroup for 2nd half. I must know there's no chance for these in real match so must really buck up. 2nd half was way better than the horror show in 1st half but still i am struggling to play my normal game. But at least i think i got a few period which i began to impose myself more like when i get the ball more. Must learn to 抓 player 紧一点or aka mark tighter. That's always being my weakness and I hope after today huge lesson i'll mark better from hence forth. And i have no idea why some of the police players like WOW when i did that volley clearance which went quite high and far when the sengkang players are nagging @ me for not controlling it down and pass as i can do so but shuzi is right next to me. Weirdest moment of the game.

But i am glad what is the most key thing which i will benefit from these 2 games is my fitness. Having played A LOT in these 2 games i am glad i can kinda last a bit longer now. It's still tiring when it reach that stage of the game where i have to give chase a lot but overall i do hope i am running more than last time. Maybe i didn't run more and it's just illusion but at least i can stay mentally stronger longer.

Bye Bye Ankle - updated

2010-01-28T23:13:00.003+08:00

Oh well... My ankle can say kinda gone liao. Tues i was having training; the 1st under the new SMU WS coach. 2nd time @ the tanah merah field. I like the stuff he planned as i feel it helped me a lot. I am lucky i did find that bit of sharpness; not my best but at least i felt it was better than when my 1st time at that field. Maybe its 'cos the ground was drier than that day so it helped everybody's play. BUT i was doing sprints and when i was turning think i stepped into uneven ground. Twisted/sprain my LEFT ANKLE which i injured for a few times already + see sinseh twice. The 1st thought that came into my mind was "OH MAN! I got a friendly tmr and fri." And i think i shouted a bit as it happened. Opps...

But i did went for the friendly because it responded okay to the icing i did. So RP i went but went to buy cake for eng chiu b'day before that. Ankle felt not the best after warm up so i wear ankle guard. BUT it felt so uncomfortable so i took it off b4 i went in. Played 3rd halves match. 1st half was quite bad by us and we were actually 1-0 down and offered them a few 1-on-1 chances too which phew didn't result in goals. 2nd half i played @ RB. I was lucky i think i did okay because i had the time to watch and study the play and get a sense of what i had to do when i went in. So we scored 2 or 3 goals in 2nd half; i forgot. Then i continued played in 3rd half but @ LB as i feel since kari has always been right i just go left loh. Really lost concentration and my mates had to pull me back into the game. My final few contribution was much better than all the stupid nonsence mistake i made just b4 that. I think i got confused too easily too. There's the tuning to the difference in flank. Then the RP coach is my 1st ever coach which dates back all the way to NP so he knew all abt me and my weakness so i actually had to deal with 4 different direct opponents.

Then came the moment. I took a throw-in. Gina make a routine pass back to me(it wasn't loose actually) but shasha was quite fast and close me down quickly. I manage to whack the ball away but she left her studs on my LEFT ANKLE. OUCH!!! Subbed out. Shidah tried massaging my ankle so that i can get back but the more she massage the more pain i felt. So i walk back all the way to where the 'bench' was because i was @ the far end and immediately learnt my lesson and wear my guard. And i said i twisted on mon not tues as they'll kill me if they knew i kinda injured but play so soon.

And oh ya; lela scored from i think a FK. Not sure what happened but think there's some mistake in team defence involved. I happened to be wearing my guard then so i was looking down and not @ the game.

So yah, think i can still move okay but not without a bit of discomfort. And i still got SMU training tmr(fri). The fri friendly against VJC got postponed a week. Might do sth abt it soon. Since sch got 50% discount for a physio clinic in sch called kinesis might go there.

*added*

Was really tempted to go see kinesis b4 training today. But ankle felt okay and it FEAKING $55. So never went in the end.

Ankle felt okay during training. The start and end was kinda felt a bit unease but otherwise it's being okay. So maybe its not a big issue after all; just a twist + knocks which will go off after a while.

Much more relaxed

2010-01-20T10:49:00.003+08:00

School seems much more relaxing compared to last sem. Thank God... I can afford to wake up a wee bit later than last sem where its 6.15am everyday till at least 2am the next day before i sleep. Now if u see me online quite late, it's most probably due to me having so much fun basking in the internet world. hahaha. But i know soon when the projects come in it won't be so relaxing already. For now i'm just enjoy the time i have and just do my hwk and stuff diligently in the meantime.

Thur evening got MC writing test. I have feeling i would make all the 'mistake'. Die liao..

Anyway, if your are looking forward to me posting the photo here after your see my status update on fb your can forget it. I won't post it. I'm not so mean ;)

I am getting so rusty in soccer. Was cage-ing with smu ppl and its like after God knows how many years since i last kick a ball. Well... Not really years but you get the point... Mis-control so many balls and then not sharp at all in my passing, shooting and alertness etc. Maybe its due to me taking things a bit too easy. And i actually whack a ball straight @ kat and she REALLY feel it. Opps... Hope she's alright. Next time @ cage i better don't take those dead balls again otherwise will whack ppl again. And than there's the somehow i bang into michelle and i was thrown to the ground. She's still standing on her feet. How embarassing. But i think its me clumsy that's why i ran straight into her.

Was coughing quite a bit too. Sigh... Seems like i STILL haven't really recovered from my sch wk 1 sick till take 13 panadol. Sidetrack but someone actually said how come doc never gave anti-bodies otherwise it'll just keep happening. I was shocked as it really happen to me quite a number of times already.

Anyway, the funny part is how during dinner i ate so little. Was @ burger king but the burger i ate like only 5 mouthful. Fries also finish half 0f it. BUT i finish the coke. So the rest happily help me finish my fries since they couldn't possible eat my burger. Anyway, looking @ the calamari from pastamania that kang bought maybe i will try it when i go pastamania next time. Looks delicious. End up i cook noodles @ home to eat as i was so hungry after i reach home. -_-" Maybe gina is spot on when she said it's because i drank too much water straight after i play. Guess this is what happen when u're pampered by Bernard and must drink h20 straight after training.

it feels like shit

2010-01-16T21:06:00.004+08:00

I am very very very very upset right now.

This afternoon supposed to have friendly match @ bowen sec. Cancelled. Sigh...

Just reached home after cell group. Wanna kick around @ street soccer court for a while to stay sharp. I got changed. Got my ball. Need to pump it. Took out my pump. WHERE'S THE FREAKING NEEDLE?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!!! ARGH!!!

The more i think of today; the more upset i got.

Aiyoh...

2010-01-07T23:42:00.007+08:00

So... After popping 13 paracetamol aka panadol tablets in 4 days and 2 days MC(1 offical 1 self-declared... hahaha), i am kinda fine now :D Just that i am still coughing quite a bit but much better than a few days ago. I think sth must be done as i am taking far too much panadol to get well. I won't want to down even more panadol to get well next time.

Anyway, lives goes on and 1st week of sch still goes one. Mon was okay. TWC was kinda boring due to subject. And ya know the prof have some sleep disorder and he was sitting down waiting for the video to finish playing and he actually fell asleep. Really shocked us. We didn't know at first so we all like WTH? at first but later during the lesson he explained. Mang Comm was tough as its language stuff which obviously i am very lousy at but i guess it should be fine in the end. Tom Estad was quite fun.

Tues was my first TA session. The class had to do some pre-quiz to gauge their Java programming level. Then i and my other TA had to mark them. I almost vomitted blood as everyone did the same question in 101 different ways and its hard to mark them. But i can see most of them are quite fluent in the language already. Then had EI which is OMG so boring. Class was quite un-engaging too as they seems unwilling to class part. That means i have to contribute even though i am sure everyone can answer them as no one wanna answer. Was sick throughout the day but just hang on. 3 panadol down.

Wed decided to take MC. Supposed to have CT. Sigh... 4 panadol down. Supposed to go natl stadium to watch Singapore vs Iran but can't in the end. Well... Singapore lost 1-3. Kinda sad but thought singapore gave not a bad impression of themselves against a asia powerhouse.

Thur feeling a wee bit better so went for AS since its only 1 and half hr lesson. Brian Mooney is really funny. He's irish and sings irish songs in class and said he actually had trials with man utd last time and was turned down as he tore his achilles. He mention abt man utd so often during the lesson. And then he asked the class "who support chelski?" "Who support the stupid scousers?" and then keep teasing liverpool during the lesson. hahaha. But sad part is i got more sick by the end of the day. 4 panadol down

Friday supposed to have IST but self-declared MC. Wonderful rest day which i just slept the whole day to recuperate. 2 panadol down.

2009

2010-01-01T23:47:00.006+08:00

Hello world :D I'm back in Singapore after spending 5 chilling days in HK + Macau. Might share more in my more free time in another post or i'll just keep the memories to myself if i don't have time or just not interested. But still it's a nice trip. Now to get my soccer back on track.

2009... A really challenging year for me. I think even my closest friend does not know all that I have to deal with. But i thank God that he's sustain everything. It could've crumble apart but God hold everything together.

My school has been tough as i've taken gambles to do stats and AW which i'll die in during one sem and also 5 IS mods in another sem. Then there's so many obstacles during the semester too like grouping, timeline etc. I give thanks to God that even though my results are not the best but hey i didn't flunk.

Soccer... Well.. High & low. I cannot give enough thanks to God that he placed BA into SMUWS for a good reason. They've been a real blessing to SMUWS and my football as without them helping me i don't think i might be part of sengkang. Then there's the incredible journey with sengkang punggol too. I'm like just a normal player representing SMUWS in diva and then after the first game which we won 2-0 ah zhen talked to me after seeing me play. I still remember the match i did quite crap actually even though a RP player's foul on me result in a yellow card and i think assist 1 if not both goals. The rest is as they said is history. Then there's the double champs too which is incredible. I cannot thank God enough for all that.

But well... Losing someone who's so important to my soccer is never easy. Without him i might not even have a team to take part in diva, let along have a chance to make ah zhen think during diva that i'll be good enough for WPL. I'll fondly remember the many days we'll just sit at the table and talk about everything before training and then helping you take out balls and stuff.

I have too many wishes/resolution/expectation for 2010 but i'll just talk abt soccer since i am sure most of the ppl here are linked to me through soccer.

I really wish i can finally break my silver/2nd for sch soccer. I've been 2nd in poly and uni games and now i really hope i can help my team finally win something. It might be heartbreak as that means i might have to beat my old sch NPFC which have been sooooooo important in my soccer life but i hope to win sth esp for Bernard. Personally, i hope to play, score, assist, tackle, pass etc to help them achieve this target.

For sengkang, let's do the Barcelona. It'll be tough given the many obstacles that we're facing at the moment and God knows what more can hit us but let's write a piece of singapore women football history. Personally, i hope i can finally settle in more. I feel i didn't really perform to my usual level till it's the very very end but maybe it's a good sign of things to come?

So for now Blessed 2010 to everyone :D May it really be a year that'll your will look back and see how God has blessed you. I'm sure he'll bless me and you too.

Blessed Christmas :D

2009-12-23T23:15:00.006+08:00

Blessed Christmas everyone :D May all your wishes come true. And pls dont eat too much turkey and ham otherwise become fat.

Crap... The state of my leg now is calf + hamstring muscle/tendon - cramp/strain/pull, abrasions on knee, blisters on heels. Went back to Braddell for SMU training with BA ppl. Actually the training should be okay one, just that i never had a training in ages so i nearly died. But still i feel great seeing the BA ppl again.

Was there early for training. U know i almost cried when i saw it's mikael @ the table? And then he's wearing so similar to Bernard too. He tried to talked to me about whether i ever represented BA etc and i kinda answered (well... not really answer actually as i just say no) but quickly went to toilet b4 it became too overwhelming. Then as i was walking to toilet i saw the bicycle too. Haiz... Then helping him with bringing out the ball is even more HAIZ... He evened asked my if i want to use the bike to ride to open the gate. I rejected it immediately and walked.

Skipping for 10mins, 5 rounds was okay as used to it already. The next is killer. Given 20 mins to run/jog/sprint across from left-bottom to right-top corner and then walk to right-bottom flag then run/jog/sprint to left-top corner. To just put it simply; you're just running to make X on the field. Completed 6 or 7 (too tired to count in the end) cross in the end but almost vomitted afterwards which is bad sign that i am not fit. Deborah was great and did half more than all of us. Then the basic control and passes with different parts of body.

Then the next is okay as its more of strength stuff rather than stamina stuff. 10 push-up, hop on 1 leg for almost half the breath of field, some agility stuff, hop on the other leg for same distance, some more agility stuff. Then play 2-side. I take it quite easy actually so didn't really push and like run till i tired. Then the embarassing moment. I cramp/muslce pull up for the 1st time ever! Was chasing ikin when suddenly it happened.

Then ended with 4 markers sprints. Just managed to survive as i wasn't really feeling my leg then due to the cramp/muscle pull up. Then some sit up, crunches etc. By the end of training my right calf and hamstring is quite bad. Then slide tackle during the game where it's quite sandy so got some abrasion. Then my boot is still quite new so kena blister.

JUST NOW I PLAYED STREET SOCCER WITH A GHANA PERSON. Was playing street soccer and then he appeared. He was proudly wearing the ghana full jersey. U know how good he was? He was quite playing only @ walking pace and still manage to score a lot of goals n assist and part of many great moves. Maybe walking pace is over-statement as he don't even bother a single bit defending and just heck care/walk back when we lost the ball. Was a great experience and very fun too. BUT now it's my both leg giving my problems instead of only my right. Sigh...

It'll never be the same again

2009-12-19T23:46:00.008+08:00

Every 19th of the month will never be the same again. 2 months now since you're gone and how everything happened is still so vivid in my head. It really pains me to be so near (2 seats away from you) seeing how it actually happened. Really really wished everything is alright; nothing changed. Everything about my football is so different from then and i don't wish i have to face this situation. Can i wish this is a dream?

I am such a disappointment for even almost forgetting your birthday on Dec 5 :(

I still feel myself being such a letdown and the only thing i can do now is to try my best to bring into completion all that you hoped for me given how highly you think of me and pray that you will see it and be glad.

Time to relax and chill... -UPDATED-

2009-12-16T22:50:00.009+08:00

Just returned from yet another street soccer session after playing too the day before and then swimming + gym yst. My ankle felt good; Thank God. Still feel a wee bit of pain (much better compared to when it's injured) but my kicking is kinda fine which means just need time for it to fully recover. Did some strengthening using the aerobic step thingy and feels kinda wobbly when i used my just recovered left feet which means its weak but got better as it goes. Hopefully it'll fully recover soon.

Just saw a email which offer us to take the java certification test at very cheap rate. Feel like taking it as it's impt for IT ppl to be certified on top of being qualified via degree and stuff. And got extra incentive too as they offer a free shirt to the 1st few person to pass.

And i just got a skype account too. Not that i can like make phone calls and stuff (who to call anyway? most of my friends are singaporean) but feel its good to be prepared for the need of it next time. So if anyone are avid skype user can try adding me on it.

COP15 climate change conference is underway and i don't know whether i can say its a success or a failure. Nothing that is significant in making a step towards saving the climate seems to be be done but come to think of it, coming together is like one huge miracle already.

And i be in camp from this fri to next mon. It's goona be a blast :D Then soon it's HK :D Weeeeee....

-Updated-

Sigh... Not camp-bound anymore. My aunt got sore eyes / eyes infection somewhere, infected quite a lot of ppl around her including my mum, my mum pass it to me and my sis. It's airbourne so i can't risk going there and infecting everyone. Sighhhhhhhh......

What could've been...

2009-12-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

Why on earth am I stuck in Singapore? I could've been having the time of my life somewhere :'-(

Again...

2009-12-10T00:05:00.007+08:00

This is what happen when you've injured yourself at street soccer court but still carry on wearing compression and also when it's beginning to recover have soccer friendly, play soccer frisbee and captains ball in a day, run 10km the next day. Went back to the same place Bernard recommended last time. The sinseh is so 'hiong' compared to the last one i had; like wanna pull my leg out from my body like that. But i will be fine on friday so hopefully i won't miss out on too much. The 1st thing i'll miss is Cage with SMUWS. Aww... It'll be so fun there. Sigh...

SL-275 TA is fun. I feel i am building a good Java foundation because i need to fully understand the concepts and stuff involved before i can teach someone. Good time to recap my stuff before I do OOAD TA next sem and also meet new ppl as i don't really know the yr 1 ppl.

God who works miracles, please work miracles yet again in everything that is being thrown at me at the moment. Amen

Die liao Die liao

2009-12-05T21:47:00.006+08:00

Today had been a long day. Woke up at 6am for friendly against RJC. SAFRA tampines field is not bad to be honest. I tried some free kicks with my new boots and all was on target except 1. Maybe it's not the field but the boots? The free kicks i hit today are some of my better one to be honest. But i realise i am not used to the new boots feel and stuff as my touches are (STILL)quite hey-wire. But might be okay soon when i get used to it or its just i wasn't sharp at all because i never train in a long long while and only had street soccer to stay a wee bit sharp.

SMU have played against RJC before and the scoreline's much high than the one today but well.. who cares? Anyway, i guess i am just a utility player that has no value at all and deployed everywhere. Played Right-back today which i've only played once before for SMU and only a half to be exact as i switch to centre back in 2nd half. Even though i think it turn out not the best of games but okay(kinda like did just enough to prevent them from using my flank to score) in the end, i still feel not used to the new bearings which is why i ruined quite a fair bit of passes and according to quiyi a wee bit out of position. But overall i think i've learnt a lot over the past 2 friendly playing alongside those ppl on top of the sengkang ppl.

Not that i hate being utility player but when ppl ask me where i play i answered anywhere as i really played just about everywhere on the pitch before. I only centre-mid and keeper never play before. And i think i am kinda a left mid by trade but i just can't take on player which is bad. I always can dribble/run past/etc but they'll always recover and win the ball off me...

After the match my ankle feels quite sore. Sigh... Guess it never recovered. Now wearing compression... Maybe ice later... But oh ya, nice to see qifang, mai, bridget, weiyi come down and gave good accounts of themselves during the match...

But anyway i still went for games day for cell grp. Was there at 1.30 and supposed to start at 3pm so i slept in office for around half an hr before bumming around. Played soccer, ultimate frisbee and captains ball. Fun :D But my current state now is back (REALLY) aching, ankle hurting, sleepy minds and a standard chartered 10 km to conquer tmr. OMG. You know i'm sitting down now and when i sit up there's a really sharp back pain. Aiyoh...

Non-kicking left leg (again)

2009-12-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

Sigh... My enjoyment of street soccer during holidays have been cut short because I HURT MY LEFT ANKLE (AGAIN). I was kicking around yesterday and then i landed awkardly and thus jerked my left ankle. Maybe it my weak ankles (not only my left but my right too) as it happen to me very often as in i somehow always seems to jerk my ankle. The worst part is at first i kinda can still kick around but after i went home to wear my compression and go buy dinner, i decided to hang around the street soccer court a while and then the kids asked me to play to balance out both teams. So i was risked more injuries as wearing those to play only serve to numb any signs of it might be getting worst and i think it did.

But it's really fun playing despite my problems as THE KIDS CALLED MY AUNTIE. hahaha. Then i called them uncle back. Really funny. Then i was keeper and the other keeper scored from his penalty area against me. He ran out of his area and celebrate. Then i quickly took the ball and score a similar goal in my penalty area. Everyone started laughing and he was in shock.

Today it didn't feel that positive. Hopefully tmr it'll be better. But i'm kinda worried to be honest as i hurt it last time during NTU invitational period (still remember) and i think the diagnosis(i didn't really catch it then but i think i got it now) then is that bone shifted. Hopefully it's just ligament strain this time around. And today i received a SMS from Halu which indicate that i might have to be well by Sat. Damn...

Tmr i am having dinner meet-up with my AYG functional group :D Had a really great time then and i'm looking forward to meeting and catching up with then. Then thur i have fine dining lunch on thur afternoon for FT. Then i'll have my SL-275 TA till next fri to help me prepare for OOAD TA next sem. Then youth camp from 18th to 21st. Then i'm leaving for HK from 27th to 31st. So it's kinda pack holiday for me.

Just a little bit more...

2009-11-25T22:50:00.010+08:00

Today had my 1st of 2 exam papers. Was okay i think. Tmr's will be tough as it's search engine; the IS subject where nth seems to get into my head. But after that paper end @ 7pm; its freedom time :D So for now i'll just have to push myself to work hard just that bit more for my final paper for this sem. Anyway, i'm writting this before all my papers end as i'll be too happy playing soccer to update then.

Anyway, AFC recently give out their yearly award and this girl who won the young women of the year caught my eye; Mana Iwabuchi.

She is BTW nominated for FIFA world women player of the year too alongside world famous ppl like marta. OMG! She's born in 1993 which means she's like only 16. I realise she's very similar to me. She's left-footed, small size (147/153 cm depending on where u got info from which is abt my height and 44 kg which BTW makes me feel kinda fat) and wears number 10 which i wear too during my 4 years in NP. Maybe i can learn from her as she must be a huge huge talent given all that she's achieved given her so young age. Anyway she's young and i think can still grow physically so maybe she won't be thought of as a small player next time as she might be average by then.

Anyway, it's been a mth + since Bernard pass away now and to be honest it still leave its wounds. Till now i still hope everything's alright and he's still coaching SMU. I guess i'm unsettled by it to be honest as who knows what's ahead? Now i think only the new exco have a better idea and i trust them to make the transition smooth. But worst part is i still haven't resume SMU training yet which means whatever i feel now i haven't feel the full impact of it yet. Sigh... But i thought it through and i hope we can win the next tourny whatever it is for him in remembrance of how much progress he's brought to SMU.

And i feel such a loser for not remembering to do anything when i step onto the field for the first time since the fateful friday friendly when i play last sat against u14 as i was too caught up in the such nice gathering of women soccer faternity for a friendly. How can i forget it when i promised to do sth? Sigh

And i probably have to live forever with the question of why didn't he ask me if he wants me to join his team so much. I'll have to live with the memory of the very SMS that he said angrily go ahead then if I don't wanna join his team when he found out that i'll be joining Sengkang. He didn't ask me to be honest given the many chances. If he wants private talk, i'm always at training early if i'm there for training where it's just me and him and a few who surely can be trusted with not spreading stuff around. If he wanna call or SMS me, he got my number and have contacted me before for logistics stuff which means i'll pick up his call. If he wants a more open setting, he can ask during SMU training/match/anything. He didn't and then said i didn't join. Not that i blame myself / him for this incident but my relationship with him could be so different. Its not like we're not talking anymore as he still smiles when he talks to me(even on that fateful friday he still kinda smile when he asked me if i understand what i have to do) even after he realise it but you can sense the awkardness. Last time i used to talk abt my old team NP with him but how can i talk abt sengkang with him? But i guess this is sth i have to let go and stop thinking abt this as so what if i know more stuff regarding BTW me and him? He's gone so let anything just end.

Fun match; fun day:D

2009-11-21T23:37:00.006+08:00

Today's friendly match was so fun with all the camaderie(or whatever u spell it). Today Sengkang, Arion, Police, Young Women (Chris was from there remember), bowen + few more combine to play a match against u14. All the chit-chatting, laughing, playing with lots of ppl you never play with for a long while was so great. It was like one kinda big women soccer gathering.

But i think i had a bad day. Still remember last time i play u14, i was @ LB and all i did was pick up lose ball and spread my pass. So simple and think i had not a bad game. Today was at LM. OMG i was 'chuan' in like 10 mins in the 2nd half. 1st half i again was confused by ppl as i was called to replace gina so i see her; okay LM. Then the moment i step in, they shouted at me to go striker. Then i realise there's no one at LM so i went there in the end and stayed there in 2nd half. 2nd half was killer. I think i tried to dribble too much and never play passing game. End up killing myself within 10 mins trying to out-dribble with every touch. Then the ball end up going out of the line just about everytime as well... sigh.... So not exactly a good game from me i feel even though most of them said i did fine. I must really make sure i got good end product to all my touches. Like 1st half i got a golden chance to play a through pass but absolutely ruin it by looking up at sheau shyan's position at the very last moment just before i release the ball and according to her took my eyes off the ball as a result and ruin the pass.

Anyway, come to think of it, think jill's play got into me after she wear my shin pad. I really never did so much sprint-dribbles during a match in my entire life. Think her sprinting awesomeness got to me(still remember she can sprint so much during those sprint drills); i felt a bit faster than usual today. I might not be able to dribble past the ppl that much otherwise given my usual speed. Hmm... But i would not wanna dribble so much during a match ever again. So chuan and kinda show pony of it. I would wanna pass more.

And the ref talked to me after the match regarding the foul straight from 2nd half kick off which i won. She said it's a foul as its clatter of feets but she mentioned that it does looked like I dive... Hmm.... From my perspective, its we both reach ball together and the opponent has 2 feet on the ground while i'm more of on one foot as i was trying to push the ball past her. Then she managed to just touch the ball which unbalance me. kinda 50-50 actually.

And there's this police ang-moh. OMG her confidence is amazing. Was talking to her during half-time and can sense her confidence in her own abilities and the team to win as well. Make me feel so un-confident. She is she'll do well and we'll win. Me like i just try my best to do well, ball is round, anything can happen. And she is fast despite her age. She is old but can beat those kids...

And then there's a free kick we won due to handball. Charmaine lofted it kinda hard then ah zhen handball it. We all really started laughing esp me. But i immediately stopped laughing after seeing everyone around me stopped already while i'm still caught up in it. Then charmaine sub was very funny as well as we kinda tell her not to make ball go out as she'll be out otherwise. Then she just had not enough space to dribble past the opponent. Then we laughed and said "okay! Charmaine off!" Sth like that. She started laughing as she came off. Everyone on bench started laughing. I know i say not that funny but trust me its really funny over there.

My new boots bite me :( Kinda have slight blister but it could be much worst if not for me wearing heels kinda often due to presentations which kinda immune my heels from it already. But like i said earlier, never had chance to test out if my passing and stuff will improve as i never really did so. But i think through warm-up and stuff it feels okay. Hope it stays that way after it season as the feel and stuff would be completely different then...

zzzz zzzz zzzz

2009-11-19T21:57:00.006+08:00

Catching up on my sleep feels great. Even though i hate the rain 'cos it prevent me from playing street soccer, the rain just gave me a even better sleep. Now the next step for me to catch up on everything outside school is to play as much soccer as possible. I don't wanna rely on street soccer to remain sharp anymore. Time to really get training and work towards forcing the next gear out of my play.

I bought my new pair of boots :D Its a lovely pair of red adiPure; the one that kaka wears. I was looking @ CTR 360 and Predator but in the end kinda limited to this but i like it:D Think it'll be the first time ever i get a kinda fitting pair of boots so will it work wonders? Well i won't turn an overnight sensation but i do hope it'll improve my play. I'm always known for wearing non-fitting boots due to my stubborness and my kinda weird feet which always irks coaches esp Coach Mike last time so i am looking forward to a new boot where i keep minumum air space; just my feet in the boots.

And oh ya, fifa street 2 on psp is not bad. Just i'm a PC person so not exactly that use to using the psp control which is controller actually. Now to get a few more games so that i won't only play 1 game.

These fews days have been kinda busy too. Have FT lesson on mon, SE presentation on tues, IT & biz innovations presentation to venture capitalist on wed, FT mock interview on thur. Everyday wear formal. Still remember my feet hurts from wearing those kind of shoes when the sem start but now battle-hardened already. Now i can fly with those shoes. hahaha. But am glad SE presentation went well which puts a good end to what all my teamates agree as a long module due to how far we have come to make things happen. Only team that session that prof say like the presentation and said stuff covered not bad on top of nice style. Wee.. But my FT mock interview i was kinda stammering during my 2nd question which is bad. Sigh... Wed one was really scary as it's real life ppl with money who's looking @ our idea and grading it but think it went okay.

Paper's next wed and thur evening. Jiayou!!!

Just glad the sem is over...

2009-11-15T23:31:00.010+08:00

Woo hoo... This sem is over with my team finishing the task that is due Nov 15 2359. I am just glad this sem is over as it's really tough taking 5 IS mods together. Looking back, i think its a good thing that i am thrown into the deep end of project with issues to handle. I really learn a lot from my project this sem in terms of handling team. I think my teams also feel they've overcomed a lot to make things happen and come to this point of completion of project. I really feel going to at least 3x LTB module this sem. But do listen to what your seniors say like pls don't think abt doing SE with CAT, don't do CAT with all biz ppl etc. It's really true.

Now to do well in SE presentation on wed, FT interview on thur, (only) 2 exam papers, FT dining and than FREEDOM COMPLETE! Now it's 4/5.

Now to catch up on my sleep as i've been sleeping later than 2am than woke up at 6am everyday. And not forgetting my soccer debts. I have to find back my touches. I gym a bit but its meaningless given how much I snack on stuff like popcorn chicken to relieve stress. Even the auntie asked me "popcorn chicken? Ice lemon tea?" when i go there.

Birthday gathering with my cell mate and my SMU friends (glad my project mates came down esp my SE one who was working with me from morning 9am till before they came down even though most of the SMU ppl are still SMUWS ppl) at settlers was nice :D And its double joy as well as my mum was kinda happy she saved quite a lot of money due to the final moment blackout. hahaha.... The presents was absolutely lovely... Suddent influx of nike, adidas, jakcets, shoebags, water bottle but still all presents were nice. E.g. I had only 1 shoe bag as i left my other one at German School during the futsal thingy(sigh... now it brought back memories of how i thought Bernard seems so proud of it as he look at the 3rd place trophy) but guess what i received 2 so now i have 3 :D Time to match my bag with my clothes or sth. haha. Then i have matching shirt with jackets. Amazing chemistry between 2 independent group of people. Was having fun playing with the ball my mates gave and also nisa's balloon (very childish right?). Now to spent the ANGBAO money!!! Maybe i shall get a mikasa ball since i'm using my portion of the SPFC prize money(s) to get my new boots. But its not as though my adidas ball is in bad condition or i have so much time to fully use the new ball as it should cost at least $60 which is expensive for a ball as all the balls i bought so far are < $35. Or maybe i should just heck care abt saving that bit more and buy skins top? The tights i bought last time was good i admit. Hmm...

And as i am typing, i just received a PSP as present :D Still in state of shock...

And oh ya... I think i can now confirm that ... is indeed happening... Oh my...

Hello 1 day before my birthday :-D

2009-11-13T01:00:00.006+08:00

Well... I am very busy with my projects and stuff but i'm a bit free so i guess i update a bit. First thing first; it doesn't feel good being poured a huge bucket of cold water. I am very excited abt sth today but then it got cancelled. Sigh... Just when i am so so looking forward to it.

I am pleasently surprised that Singapore would get a few panda from china on loan. Now that's a good reason to go zoo. But then again, it'll be 2012 before the public can view it. But it's still great news as i don't think panda like want to see can just go zoo and see.

And it's one day before my birthday. Well... I am more looking forward to my term ending THIS SUN than my birthday because it means i can catch up on my sleep and soccer debt; esp soccer debt. I am so upset that i couldn't kick ball these days. If i didn't play soccer with guys @ SAS that day and possibly last sun (thanks to undecisive me i didn't... sigh), i will have become a soccer noob by the time i resume any training be it for SPFC or SMU.

I should be happy about my birthday but i am kinda sad that i couldn't go watch Singapore vs Thailand as a result. I could've go watch Khairul Amri, Datsakorn thonglao and teeratep winothai play. Sigh... But i would still enjoy the party at settlers... Just that maybe my heart would kinda be at the national stadium.

Anyway.. i guess the ppl who're here most probably have received the invitation so ya hope to see your :-D Those who never recieve or haven't RSVP but can and wanna come this sat evening please inform me and i'll let you know more

And take a look at this...

I don't know what your feel... But i was talking to a guy recently and I remember he said that somehow girls tend to be more -don't know the appropriate word-. He mentioned how guys can go for blood on the field but still will shake hand at the end of the match but for girls things like not shaking hands and just simple unsporting behaviour do happen. Guys do brawl more yes but still sporting. I don't know what ur think but i was quite startled when he said it as i kinda think eh yes it is indeed happening.

God is Good all the time

2009-11-09T00:14:00.007+08:00

If you remember i was whinning about how bad my sunday is

Supposed to wake up at 8am but didn't set alarm clock thus woke up late at 9am
Wanted to go and soak up the atmosphere or learn new freestyle tricks or get tips regarding the tricks i already can kinda do at Red Bull Street Style(the freestyle touny). Didn't in the end
Could've played football with the guys. Didn't in the end
Wanted to go watch the Singapore Cup final to support Coach Mike. Didn't in the end
Supposed to watch Man Utd vs Chelsea. Couldn't in the end and currently stuck on soccernet gamecast for updates.

What a awful day with church the only saving grace...

But God works in miraculous ways and know my grumbles and make my monday great :D

I only go for morning lesson and go home at 12 NN. So sick of staying in sch from early morning till late night
Complete my bidding for my mods for next sem. Now i can laugh at ppl still bidding for next sem courses
Received a wonderful out of this world news :D Will tell u more when the time is ripe. For now pls hope it'll be a wonderful experience for me
Had a great nap in the afternoon after reaching home

Just too bad it rains otherwise i would've play street soccer. But a bit cracking my head over how to do my CAT presentation now.

Numb to sianz-ness

2009-11-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

Think i am like so sianz abt school and everything related to it till i am numb to it already. Can u imagine... I have to rush my CAT project because WE HAVE TO SWITCH PROJECT SPONSOR?! I am supposed to do a spreadspeed model for a fruit stall but we have to drop it due to a number of reasons like 5 days before deadline. So was meeting my CAT mates everyday when I have time since thur; really every single possible second. Then SE project which is 55% of final grade will have User Acceptance Test on thur so rushing it too. PMSB also have to rush deadline. Search engine also deadline at same period. Come to think of it... All around same period. So it's been really draining till the pt where I am not contributing anymore. Haiz... Oh God pls help me. And i haven't even started writting my resume and cover letter for FT. And worst part is, i forgot how prof structure it... Thought i will remember but i'm wrong. So have to count on my memory for his alignment and stuff

Anyway, on a much more happier note; pls congrat me as i got myself on the school payroll for next sem :-D I will be TA-ing for OOAD. In case ur don't know, TA is teaching assistant whereby u assist prof and instructor during lesson. I was telling my prof that i am might not be competent enough and blah blah blah when i so-called apply. He waited a week b4 replying me and he said it's abt soft skills as well and my A grade is good enough. So i said okay I'll apply and see how it goes on from here. The next thing i knew, i am chosen already. It's my honor to be part of this possibly-wonderful experience :-D Will be looking forward to it.

So I went to receive my WPL winners medal @ JBS on fri. The rain absolutely spoil all my plan as i wanted to take photo and stuff but 'cos of rain didn't take any photo in the end. Besides, is there even a presentation? Those there would get the drift... Sigh... Bernard's family was there ya know so what would they think after seeing how it's planned? But think it's 'cos of the rain. But I'll be honest; i can't take my eyes off it that day. I kinda calm down the next day but straight after I receive it i can't help but keep looking at it. I still can't believe i would be part of this wonderful team and season. Must thank Jill 'cos if she never cheer me up when i feel down after the police game and then she and gina encourage me so much against NYP i might not be that happy. But ya... Congrats to everyone. Personal congrats goes out to Nuriah and Izah for being top scorers.

But Khairul Amri didn't score that day :-( went close a few times and part of some nice moves by Tampines but not enough to add more reasons to celebrate on that day :-(

I managed to kick soccer balls for the first time since that fateful friday. Was playing at SAS field (which is actually for rugby) but artifical turf so was nice. Weather was kinda hot. Was kicking with guys so really learn about being calm. It's not as though i can't play just that i end up releasing the ball too early or late or show some poor moments as i just didn't do what i would usually do. Was kinda having problem coping at the start but i got into the tempo soon even though it's still hard. But i realise i can't head even though their ball was coming at faster pace so its harder :-( Was playing striker / wingers so a lot of those nice long high balls coming to me but everytime i chicken out of the header and only control with my leg. Then there's kinda some chance to head at set pieces too which i chicken out. Sigh... I think i must practice header in my break during training so that i won't chicken out of it anymore. But glad i did have some good patches of form today as i never kick a ball for quite a bit now even though i've been gymming/jogging.

I HATE SCHOOL!!!

2009-10-28T23:09:00.003+08:00

This is not the first nor the the only time i am saying this but I HATE SCHOOL!!! Everything abt sch is so hectic, crazy, tedious, stressful that you just wanna quit school, get away from the freaking academic system and have a good laugh at everyone who's still staying there. When will SMU ever get it that student do still need a life and enjoy while living it as well instead of worrying about project/stuff even while enjoying that bit of life. Hey! Maybe its a good idea not to be held to ransom by the crazy school system anymore. So don't be surprise if i annouce that i've quit school.

Anyway, i'm free 'cos i've just reach home and then now waiting for the environment to be quieter before studying for SE mid-term(ya... mid-term when it's around 3/4 term already... stupid right?)tmr. Hopefully i can get full marks for it as i really need it to bounce back. But maybe after publishing i'll do some work first b4 studying.

So ya... After not exercising a single bit since pesta sukan except that fateful friday, i'm back with my own training regime. Hit the school gym last thur after not going there for a long long time already. Felt relief i didn't lose too much strength/treadmill distance; still about the same as last time. And then i saw this guys that i swear looks like fernando torres :-D Even though i would exchange it for Ruud any time, it's still nice thinking you're close to a huge star. But got me so distracted.... hahaha. But bad part is my groin / inner thigh was so pain after that and haven't recover since.

Was supposed to join SMUWS mates for another gym session too but was too busy with CAT project so can't leave. Sigh... I feel so bad that everytime they have to be sacrificed but as like i say b4, i would not be able to play soccer if not for my studies so i better at the very least make sure it's on track. But will join them for a while this fri b4 leaving for prize presentaion.

Then went jogging with Sengkang mates too which just a simple short session to get things a bit rolling. The funny thing is everyone end up with cramp/strain/whatever in the groin or inner thigh. After we ran a few rounds around the track, we did some dynamic stuff and then sit down to do strength stuff. Everyone immediately felt cramp/strain/whatever at groin or inner thigh. Really every single one; even halu who's suppose to be fit as she surely still exercise. Guess its 'cos we're quite warm up then suddenly stopped moving. And it didn't help i kinda injure it already. So ya, now i am walking with some awkardness due to my groin / inner thigh.

Anyway, WPL prize presentation is this fri. I missed the chance to do sth i really feel like doing after pesta sukan which i will never ever have a chance to do so already. Sigh... I'll forever live with this regret. Think only 1 person who i told on MSN knows what i'm talking about. So even though i will be joyful and looking forward to receiving the prize, i will still look back at what i could've/should've done then. And i might be taking lots of photos :-D It's a real blessing from God to be part of this amazing season and team and i really don't know how long i'll still be in there so i'll really cherish any moment.

After the Bernard incident, i really feel i shouldn't be so indecisive anymore. I must come out of my protective shell and do what i so wanna do inside me. I feel if we really wanna do sth e.g. repair my relationship with Bernard, i really should take action and do it instead of just thinking okay i shall do it but then never do it then live with this regret forever. I've live it out last sun and i thank God he helped me to make that action kinda positive. At the very least, i'll feel i've tried even if it didn't turn out well and things got worst instead then. So thank Bernard that he's still giving my life lessons. It's one of my weakest aspect of me so i'll learn... So to all readers, do not put yourself in situation whereby u'll one day look back in regret. A lot of ppl already had regrets because of Bernard's incident.

My 2 cents worth. Will try to blog about more life lesson or just simply other stuff as this blog is looking like my diary of soccer memories.

Still can't believe it

2009-10-21T20:27:00.006+08:00

So ya... I've decided to retype my last post. Context that i wrote then and the context now is so different which till now i don't ever for a second wish i had to type on this topic. I just went to watch a bit of street soccer near my house while on my way back from school and was wondering "Oh man... I still haven't handle what could hit me when i start lacing those boots again." Football can never ever be the same again for me. I have to show renewed seriousness in my football and also more fight for first-team football because that is Bernard's hope for me. Bernard, i will fight hard and become a regular first teamer even though i might disappoint you yet again. Even though this is more for my own good, i will try to achieve it for you.

I really am lost for what to write as our relationship has been quite topsy turvy. We do enjoy those great days; like how he actually wanted to buy 1 share in Arsenal. The funny part was how he had to use the calculator like 3 to 4 times before he actually keyed in correctly. And he said "1 share no chair during AGM leh". I really really felt like hey it's great as since when i've such a coach that i can sit down and talk anything under the sun with? Even though it's the same day that will go down as the day he knew i will be joining Sengkang, it's still one of my most momorable Bernard moment ever though the days where me, nemo and Bernard talking are good too. I shall always remember the pride he shows when we're talking about how successful his players who've gone through him are. And he is really concern about women soccer i can vouch for that as i remember he getting hyped up when it comes to the topic of how FAS does women soccer stuff frustratingly with so much sincerity in the enthuasism in it.

Ya know, i've been to a lot of funeral but this is one i really felt so helpless. I really wanted to do this and that but I know my responsibility as a christian so i can't do anything. So i'm like just sitting there and contributing to the noise and non-solemn atmosphere... haiz... But that's the least i could do; be there and just let my presence show the support and respect.

So ya... May coach Bernard rest in peace. You'll be remembered. I don't know and it's not in my authority to say where you will go to from here but I hope i can see you in heaven.

charred lobsters

2009-10-14T00:27:00.009+08:00

I am updating this while waiting for time to hit the deadline for my teamate to finalise stuff as i'm the one submitting and printing for them. So while waiting i shall update.

So sun was pesta sukan with Sengkang Punggol and we won :-D But the best part is i get to see the person i really look up to in Singapore Women Soccer after quite a while :-D Cool... Won't tell you who though even though i still think its open secret to NPFC ppl. But i never really got time to see her on field to study her as I've usually did as I think clash in most of our timing. But someone I knew recently was there and was really impressed with her. Enough said. Got to catch up with yating too :-D She's my ex-captain and for a reason as well so great to see her. Will get to see more of her soon finger crossed.

Also get to see NPFC and Arion ppl too. Everytime i see them i can't stop thinking how much foundation they've laid for me before i move on to SMU-BA and now SPFC and be greatful to how much effort they've taken to groom me. I must've been a bad student though. But i do feel a bit confused when i see the Arion B team as i really don't know how different things might be if I went there. Would I be better/worst off? But never mind; i'm happy where I am right now with SMU-BA and SPFC.

It dawned on me that i almost played defender, midfielder, striker in a day. If not for no time for me to go in, i would have gone in as defender for one of the game and thus complete my maybe unwanted honor? Someone was telling me about this recently; I have to stop playing/being played everywhere on the field. I was thinking and I feel its true to a extend; i must be realistic. I am neither as technically good nor tatically flexible as for eg the china ppl whom I play with to be able to just slot in everywhere so playing/being played everywhere might really not help me at all as you just become jack of all trade. Then narrowing it down to where I play for SMU in matches be it friendly or offical; LB, CD, RB, LM, RM, ST; just about complete all except for GK and CM. The person rest the case so quickly. But i really don't know. I mean, got chance to play just treasure it bah.

I feel i even though had preety limited chances i felt i did fine when i went in except that one square pass which kinda irritate the watching/still on field china ppl immediately and all say "不要再那么作了" immediately when the ball left my feet. And should've scored too as was through on goal but shot straight to keeper who held the ball. Was trying to slot it to far post so kinda no power and could save it. But the team was really strong as a unit too i feel with each one complimenting each other. And also thanks my ex-NPFC mate mai who heed the call of Gina and help play keeper for us. And was your usual great footballer self too. Hope you like your medal :-D Hopefully will see you, b2 and bridget soon ...

The price to pay for the kinda fun day and winner medal is that I feel I am completely charred now; not even red. OMG. But ya, looking back at this year of football for me, i cannot be much happy. 2 winners medal with SPFC, SUniG 2nd(which i am sure will be 1st soon... next year i hope...)then a good run in Diva and NTU invitational. Thank God for blessing me. But for now, i am hanging my boots temporary(for a week or 2 at least) to focus on my studies unless got friendly or stuff. Then it'll be back to the familiar cycle of working hard to make sure I improve and hopefully peak at the correct period too finally as I feel I am finding a bit of breakthrough in the past 2 to 3 weeks but then now break -_-"

Congrats

2009-10-09T23:52:00.013+08:00

First things first; all my congrats message. First to SMUWS. We're offically 2nd after the final fixture that is between NTU and NUS ended in our favour. We're SUniG 2nd. Woo hoo!!! Great to be part of this breakthrough SUniG season. Then congrats too to Coach Mike. His Geylang team has a shot at silverware after winning their 2-legged semis against albirex. Didn't get a chance to catch the match on TV just now but will watch the replay tmr morning. I am always impressed by just how much you knew and you prove your pedigree yet again with this result.

And ya... Finally i got the answer to whether i will be playing pesta sukan or not and even who is in my team. I will be helping SPFC for it. Actually i was quite mentally prepared to help SMUWS but since no one there asked me (i was waiting for it. serious) and SPFC ask me if i can play and they're a wee bit short on cover, i'll just help them. Looking forward to a carnival that's similar to Diva though no much fanfare i will suppose.

School is killing me. I took a gamble by taking 5.5 modules and just about all is IS which everyone say i'm crazy to do so and it's really killing me. I know as SMU student we have tiredness for breakfast, stress for lunch, brain-drained for dinner (i came up with this myself so if you like it, thank :-D ) but i guess the commitment etc to deal with 5.5 is really just too much for it. But if my gamble pays off, i can get very high GPA as i am supposed/i want myself to do well in my IS mods.

And i am so busy till i have to catch up sleep and then work too at training ground before SMUWS training on wed. Thank God Bernard didn't really talk to me because we used to talk about anything under the sun before training otherwise i won't reject him but i will in back of my mind think OH NO WHAT TO DO. Come to think of it, i really miss those chatting days and seeing the cutting of grass as well. And i missed 2 good chances during training as well. Sigh. One is a embarassing bad miss but the other is really pity as it's a nice high and a wee bit deep cross in by forget who then i wanted to head but last second decide to chest. Then ball fall nicely for me to shoot immediately without waiting for ball to settle. Blast over from preety close. Haiz... If only it goes in.

And i still feel i am too inconsistant to even be a okay footballer. I still feel that is my biggest obstacle i have to overcome together with my tendacy to crack too easily under pressure to perform somehow. I feel both might be linked though. Was thinking after today's training about how on earth i can one time do fine and were on preety much on par with the pace then like today was just not into it when its basically the same stuff. If these continue, i can never make it as a footballer and rather make it as a ball girl.

And oh ya... will be busy next few days. Tmr got wedding then SPFC got sponsor dinner where i'll get to get my prize money too before pesta sukan sun and then back to hectic sch on mon(where i'm packed from 830am till 10pm) after not so mid-term mid-term break is over. So maybe i'll not update.

But thinking about it; the experience and the soccer stuff i learnt from SPFC so far is far greater than the amount i'll receive which i have no idea how much. Somebody who after not seeing me on field for a while now said that "Hey! You did improve" even though i honestly don't think so is testimony to how much benefit your bring alongside with the BA and SMUWS ppl to my play as don't take away how much they help me during that period of time too as they were with me as i go through my first major injury (the horror of really short range and absolute no high ball as it really hurts during that period still haunt me till now) which is my left ankle and carry me through that period by still believing in me. But I'll really treasure my moment with SPFC as i don't know how long i'll still be there just as i treasure my moment with SMUWS as i know they have a unique spirit that i really hope will live on.

Mid-term finally

2009-10-03T00:18:00.006+08:00

Woo hoo! School's kinda out! Mid-term break. No lesson but will have longer project meetings, 2 mid-term test the week after and lots of project to complete. Not to mention having to pull my fell apart SE project (55% of SE grade... Really huge for a compoment to have such huge % on grade) back on track urgently. Hopefully mid-term break week will be a good time where everything academic wise will fall into (or back into) place.

Thur SPFC training was crazily fun :-D Think it's the relaxed atmosphere; the seriousness to improve and stuff still there but everyone was more busy laughing / smiling at stuff or even tried new tricks. A lot of flair play going around. Ah zhen didn't talk football with me the first thing she came but rather happily parade her new Carlo Rino bag -_-" We also tried to trick shidah into thinking training is over as she came late from her coaching work. She really thought training over. Then we're a bit laughing at ah ying's look when she is focused while playing football. Kind cute :-D And nobody hit target when it comes to forefit of standing on goal line back facing someone who'll kick ball at around penalty spot. Halu was like so scared lah... And zu was clever to keep shaking or rather dancing to put them off so that won't hit her... Really enjoy all my training with them.

And i was happy i found the feel of the ball that day. Acutally except for one or 2 ball that bounce past me i was feeling it on wed too but well... Forget it... Was thinking if it'll continue on fri for SMU training but it's cancelled :-(

I might be helping SPFC for pesta sukan next sun... See how things develop... Maybe i won't play in the end :-( Kinda want to play but not really enthu till like MUST play that kind so for me if get to play play loh. Don't get to play okay loh.

Think after beijing 2008 the olympic spirit lives in me. I have to leave for M'sia in less than 6 hr at 7am time but once i know that i can catch who'll be olympic host in 2016 live on web, i've decided catching the moment is > sleep. I catch it all the way from the voting session till the annoucement ceremony which just ended. I kinda rooting for tokyo because during AYG this doping officer offer volunteers stuff and promoting it and said we should support asia country. And i thought chicago with obama factor might do well but it's Rio :-D Olympic meets samba. Anyway, any country is fine for me. Madrid which is a nice city (disclaimer: i've never been there unlike most of your might) acutally misses out again... But i like their campaign video. Really short and sweet.

Ok... Go sleep liao... Going to M'sia soon. Forget which relative wedding so will have long long day there from early morning till late i suppose..

Now I understand

2009-10-01T01:39:00.013+08:00

You know, Ah Ying used to tell me that when it comes to football, you personally happy is good enough as in "自己高兴就好了". I don't really get it then because she a bit told me randomly. Now i really do...

And what's the use of being happy doing what you like if everything else is so cui? My lab test on fri was a complete disaster. So much for my hard earned reputation as a decent programmer. Absolutely flunk it. So too my search engine mid-term which really almost make me cry after doing it like i told me teamates. My only saving grace is my CAT which mid-term and assignment 3 seems fine. And honestly speaking what's the use of missing class just like that so that i rot at sidelines for 2 hrs? I must realise i got to play my football all because of where i got to in terms of my studies. So i better jolly well do my job as a student. And i have to seriously do sth to rescue before SE presentation which at the point of my post is in around 10 hrs or else can GG

Soccer has always being a integral part of my life but i have learnt to place things in perspective...Ironic isn't it this coming from someone who loves soccer so much.

And hope my grandma's will not only be fine but turn out stronger as well... I was quite unsettled in the morning today(30/9)when my sis SMS me in the middle of CAT mid-term saying my M'sia grandma is in hospital for a possible minor stroke. I only saw it after the test as i don't dare let prof think i'm cheating. Parents and 2nd sis came back a while ago from M'sia and it seems my grandma's not as bad as 1st thought but still in hospital. I might have to make trips M'sia but not sure when. Most probably weekend from what my father plans...

OMG! It's freaking 1 am - updated(forgetful me forget to add sth)

2009-09-28T01:00:00.008+08:00

I know... I should be asleep right now. I still got to wake up early to go school and complete my pile of stuff (even though i don't have lesson on mon untill term 1B for FT) but i am so high right now.

SPFC ARE THE CHAMPIONS :-D I can't say anything except thank all of your my soccer links who develop me from a person who just have passion for soccer but can't play when i just entered poly to now being part of the FAS WPL winning side. My heartfelt thanks really goes out to all at NPFC, Coach Mike, AWFC, SMUWS, BA, SPFC for watering this passion of mine. It's really really tough at times. Think your should know the numerous times i felt like giving up because i am sick and tired of being unable to perform to my abilities on the field and also being stuck at bench. I know all these might not end which means i need to be mentally stronger but all i can feel now is just how your have such concern for me. Your can choose to ignore me and let me whine/simply just rot there. But your choose to ask me how i felt, advice me how to improve and cheer me up. This winner's medal is dedicated to all of your who have a part to play in my soccer journey so far.

I am not sure if i will ever have a chance like this again as who knows i might be out of the SPFC team/decided not to play soccer anymore tmr. So for now all i can do is to thank your for all that your done so that i even got a chance to be part of this.

And cheer up to all @ BA. I am still your teamate in a sense due to my links with SMUWS so i really hope your put this so-close-yet-so-far behind your and see how well you've done for all the previous matches and that is sufficient enough to prove that you're a top team.

And elmo better jolly well tell me what time she's leaving SIN on wed. hahaha... She simply refuses to tell me the time she's leaving despite me nagging at her. And she forgotten she kicked my boots that i was holding in my hands after cool down walking back to where i place my stuff after training and then acted blur... Hmm...

Now to be fully focused on winning 2nd for SMUWS this wed with a victory against SIM. NTU should (hopefully) beat NUS which means we'll be 2nd with a result against SIM. No more lost of concentration which hit me real hard during the NTU game and the simple lack of enthuasism for football due to tiredness against NUS. SMUWS FOR 2ND PLACE!!! And sorry to say this but to be selfish a bit; can i play attack? I still feel i can contribute more if i play attack. But anywhere on the field will do as long as the job is done.

And my SMUWS exco logistics manager term is drawing to a close. Still remember my campaign 'speech' which i said that me wanna be part of exco is just a step i am taking to say that i'm in SMUWS in the long run. A year has past now, so much has happened but i must say i'm still proud to be elected to lead the club and am still in SMUWS in the long run. Hope you like what i've done despite obstacles like no SSU funding for jersey and needing to tune to my new scope of duty which is kinda different from my quater-mistress job in NPFC and also sometimes just too blur for my own good that i need ppl to tell me what to do.

should i do another term? I know this year is the so called by-default year to be part of exco in CCAs but i still feel others can do a better job than me leh.

Deep thought

2009-09-25T00:04:00.007+08:00

So... SMUWS beat NUS. Woo hoo. 1-0. Nice and preety. But sorry to say this (i'm just being brutally honest) but i can't feel any connection to anything being said about the match today. I just wanted to get away and go home. Guess it's just too much penned up angst in me. Guess it's just hot-headed me. Guess it's me thinking that i should go for lab test today instead of delaying it till tmr evening (for the record, it's prof who told me to take it tmr. Sarah who's in the same class as me took it on wed) so that i can be at the match because he's most probably gonna scold me why i never go training tmr anyway as he'll think i'll be.... Sorry for ranting or if i offended anyone or i mis-understood anyone but i am just simply fed up so don't expect me to be morally and behavioural-ly correct.

But i won't be angry against the team. I can never be angry against the team. I never ever will be angry against the team. Great job anyway for such a great result as i can understand how much psychological barrier your have to get past for a result like today to happen. I know that very well because i have been through this with NPFC where we have to get past the we can't beat NYP/ITE mentality when my team won 2nd in my final year and then build on it so well.

I am glad my this sem result had been fine so far. Apart from the search engine programming assignment which i decide to throw it away and just submit non-quality stuff, the rest had been fine. I am glad i learn about commitment and the quality expected from seniors that i work with through my electives. Hand up 16 pages for a 7 page report. Then my CAT assignment and PMSB presentation turns out well too in my opinion. Really thank God for helping me survive not only so much football (which most probably end next wed when i break as both SPFC and SMUWS ends aparts from maybe pesta sukan) and school workload which gave me sleepless night but making me overcome them as well. Without him i must say i would be crying how everything fall apart by now. Thank God for your goodness.

Here it goes once again...

2009-09-21T22:16:00.005+08:00

So I am in school today during Hari Raya public holiday even though not as long as i imagine it to be. Haiz... But what's new for SMU IS students? I must must learnt to live with these; long hours in school till like almost last MRT, weekend and holidays in school, nights spent till like 3am and wake up at 6+am. I am yr 2 already but i must say there's this part of me that's still resent these. Maybe 'cos i never got near to sth like these during NP days. Thus its still culture shock to me.

So my this week football craziness schedule is

Tues -> training
Wed -> training
thur -> Match vs NUS (go SMU!!! put that bad lost against NTU behind us. Yes the way we lost was not the best but i am sure we've already given our best shot and we'll bounce straight back with a win. We still can be 2nd you know... Winning them will throw everything open straight away)
fri -> training
Sun -> 'cup final' against MRFC (go SPFC!!! MRFC players will be my friend off it but sorry not on it for that match)

I think i am a person who really lives in the past. I am forever thinking about how great the past have been and wish present would be reflective of past sometimes. I somtimes think "if only ... stays" or "if only i am ...". I think i really need to learn to move on and know that the present is the best personally and for my future as well. But what if the best for me is actually if the past do stay? Haiz...

In dire need of a break

2009-09-17T23:51:00.004+08:00

2 consecutive match days of football has gone and all i say is phew... I am really crying out for my bed now and it's like toture typing this but shall complete it anyway.

I am glad i am part of history in the making with sengkang. It'll be cup final against BA(of all teams; now how do i face them)on our final game of the season where we need a win against them while a draw for them would do. Managed to secure the 3 pts against SAS that we need for it to happen though really made to work for it. Kinda sad to be stuck on bench as i feel i have given a decent account (as recognised by everyone) on sat to at least get some play time but well like i told shidah before; i don't mind sitting on bench as long as your win. Besides, i am still the kind of player who make my weakness more apparent than my strength(if i even have any). Lets see how the cup final will turn out. I've only being with them a short while but all i can say is i am blessed to have them as they've really brought me out of my comfort zone and force me to grow as a player and as a person(given that...). And they really understand my game and how to improve it.

Anyway, i thought nightmare strike twice. I was taking some indirect FK during break and my left foot jammed the ground. I thought i will injure myself because i went through horror months after i injure myself through similar circumstance then had really OMG bad soccer as i didn't get treatment. After checking it out, i only just jammed AND DIDN'T HURT MYSELF. Phew... If i hurt myself really GG men...

So ya, yst game turn out fine and was a bit tired but then have to tune my mind to SUniG game today. In all honesty, my concentration was poor today. Wasn't in tuned to do well in the match so a bit relief when i wasn't starting as i hope looking will pull me back. Turn out i have to go in quicker than expected so again wasn't tuned to the game and had to keep looking while warming up so that i can be pulled into the game and i was lucky i was near bench so can hear their shouting. 2nd half was really really just wasn't in the game. So thanks jipo for walking so far to get to the far end so that i can be pulled back into the game if there's even any indication i did. Then there's this mis-con btw leah and coach regarding where i am playing after a sub(i asked her after the match and it's just sudden change of plan). It took a while to be rectified so I was even more blur.

And nisa thought i am berbatov kind of player given how i got the touches and stuff but just such a frustration to play with with my tendacy to drag slow pace of game. Hmm... And i also love the freshies. It just such frustration when you know we could've do well but just that we really got no time to get things done then make the opponent look so good. Last year is testimony where we were strong during NTU invitational after minor hiccup.

I am really yearning for my bed now... And after 2 consecutive days of football after 2 games last week too, I NEED A BREAK!!! Self-enforced break till next mon/tue (probably... see how) before game on thur and sun so that my mind can be more tuned during a match instead of being drained mentally. BUT BUT next week might look like this; tue training, wed training, thur game, fri training, sun game. GOD BLESS ME.

Damn this thing...

2009-09-15T00:19:00.007+08:00

I will keep this short because i am so so busy. I assignment to pass up on 15, 16, 18 and matches on 16, 17, 24, 27, 30. Currently trying to complete search engine which is the one due on 15. When it's done, i WILL shout a big "go and die bah!!". First time ever i did Java and am stuck... Current status; waiting for TA's reply regarding my bug. Most probably sleeping @ 4am and wake up 6.15am for whole of this week from what i think. It'll ruin my chances to help my team by doing well...Haiz...

Haiz... My form picked up just in time for the trial on tues and then sat's friendly match against u14 but guess it'll be all wiped out soon because i have no time to carry on this momentum through intense training + discipline lifestyle. Tues match mention liao. Sat friendly against U14 is kinda fun actually. The 'kids' are so funny but i realise with experience you can make up a bit for lost of speed. When they dribble they have this millisecond where you can grab it off them so I was winning a few balls then try to spread play but i was caught out for speed when they manage to break past me. But i like the way they are brave to take player on.

And my marker/the person i marking was so funny. She bugged me for my age but i don't dare to tell her that i'm 8 years older than her so i asked her to guess. She guess around 28 at first thinking that i was so secretive so must be old. *faint*. She's good actually but was losing concentration a bit after i won a few balls against her and also spread play through her and she felt a bit she's losing battle against me when she's doing fine.

Anyway, i think this match is the first time i actually did a first time deep cross from almost half line which fly high into the box in a match setting though didn't really go 100% where i wanted it to go(i think as if i remember i only can do that during training/training matches so far). The best ever was when NPFC training while i was warming up on my own from similar range and every ball seems so professional. hahaha. And its dead ball hits as well... Since then i think it never really came back 100%

But i realise i have come up with 2 personal dummies guide to high ball for myself which (if i remember them and execute well)it works. 1st the swing of arms whom manager mentioned beckham. 2nd (a bit weird though)look at my shadow so that my body bend won't bend so much and thus keep correct technique.

Well...

2009-09-08T21:57:00.008+08:00

Wasn't exactly a match i would've expect. But for me personally, it's a good workout as i can only improve by being placed in position where i have to learn and quickly as well. I was expecting a attacking position but guess Coach decision is justified as we're a team full of attackers come to think of it. So played at right back then centre defence aka stopper. I learn alot and grew as the game goes i feel. Esp thanks rynette for never failing to talk to me so that i learn as much as possible from it. The only thing i feel sad is i never get to help my mates test their defence but i'm fine with it. But everyone did fine to be honest considering first time in a match together.

A lot of low pts happens during the game to be honest. Regarding marilyn... shall not talk about it. But very sad about it as i really respect the chins. Then there's my midunderstanding with izah. I thought she was telling us not to put more man into the wall where she meant otherwise and so i got angry and said "So?" Really sorry for it. But thank God i talked to her very briefly after the match and she seems a bit frustrated but okay. No hard feelings k? I just heard wrongly... But honestly speaking, i feel 1st half have lots of gunpowder. Don't know why but i just feel so... Guess how 2nd half started (with a laugh) help cool atmosphere

Well... gtg... I must optimise all my time as my school schedule is really really packed like crazy.

kids craze...

2009-09-03T19:35:00.017+08:00

I should be doing more productive stuff aka doing my PMSB assignment but i'm just can't find any motivation to do it. Haiz... Die liao.... And i realise i bid for the wrong prof for my CAT (prof kam)as his assignment are OMG so hard compared to other prof... Just realise it this morning while SE meeting when a teamate showed me his prof's assignment; like so easy lah... I like do till 2.30 am on deadline day to finish it... Guess he's already done and sleeping soundly by then...

Back to my title. Recently, i have been seeing quite a lot of kids playing those super yo-yo. I feel like telling those kids that I PLAY YO-YO too. My first yoyo is actually pro-yo in primary school which i am quite sure cannot find it in the market already. It's still with me and still working ya know. Then i got a bumble bee yoyo which is a present from my aunt and i am sure it's not that cheap but it's kinda spoilt already. Very good yoyo; in fact, still my fav. Then i also got a super yo-yo model which is when the show was famous last time around(not nowadays).

Then you might not know but i also have this craze for tamiya cars when i was young; you know those mini 4wd. I still kept them with me for the simple reason that i spent a bomb on them last time + sentimental having spent so much time building them and making them the perfect car. I even spent $70 of my birthday hangbao last time for "super emperor". And i am still sad that till now i couldn't get my hands on "emperor" as i simply can't find them; too rare already. I will still spent money to buy it if i can find it as it is rare no matter how famous/not famous the show that make it popular is.

Now ya know i am so sentimental that i kept my childhood stuff till now.

I'll be heading into my kinda hectic football schedule soon(i know got people more hectic than me). Update of scheudule; 8(think so... for SMU to prepare for SUniG but not sure who/where... scarli BA), 12, 16, 17(this is hectic... then got assignment due on 15, 16 and 18 which means it's work till wee hours again and no sleep...Die liao), 22, 27, 29. There could be 1 / 2 more friendlies to prepare for SMU's SUniG but not sure as it's starting already + not easy to get friendlies as now season + too sudden. Then just received news regarding pesta sukan which will be in october. Not sure if i will take part/for whom. Not sure if i will be choosen for SP(seriously... think more than enough ppl available to register better than me most probably would play i think) and i might also not be elegible for SMU due to WPL with SP. Haiz... But it would be my most happy period if i can just about win all the matches as all are key matches e.g. for SUniG must win all otherwise it'll most probably be NTU again and for SP it's key matches left in our march to what can be a memorable season as we have so little preperation.

And i must say... , that's a masterstroke by you since that time you decided to try it. I am relishing it(at least i think... Don't know what you think though)

And oh ya... I BOUGHT SKINS :-D My only tights left(adidas one)is getting quite lose(or at least i psychologically feel so because i am thinking of skins everyday) and SMU student got discount so i bought them. Haven't collected my free water bottle which will only have stock next week though. Hopefully it'll feel good. And i want to buy a new boot adiPure so any kind sponsors :-D ? I absolutely don't mind everyone pull in wee bit so that when i accumulate it'll be a lot... hehehe. And my birthday is in nov for the record. 21st as well...

Come to think of it, i still don't know if i should hold party as it's exam period... Damn...

What a day - 30-8-09 :-D

2009-08-30T22:57:00.005+08:00

Today was such a fun day with my SPFC mates. We're involved in a TV programme(should be on suria) that will be aired in september whereby this husband loves all sorts of sports so the wife decided to try out different sports each week in a case of role reversal. So football is featured and the producer contacted AIDE ISKANDAR so he contacted us girls to help out. Overall was so fun except for the a bit too wet weather. But no one is complaining due to the fun :-D

Aide was such a nice guy. The funny part is i think he know ah ying somehow and then he was playing monkey with us to help us warm up. He kept passing the ball very hard to ah ying so that she will be monkey. Hahahaha. We're all laughing like crazy. The drills he made us and the 2 ladies involved was very interesting too. Glad one of the lady like football so much that she joined us when we continued playing afterwards while waiting for the crews to check footages.

Then i wanted to use my laptop to do a bit of work while waiting for 5pm to reach to watch a bit of the guys team friendly match but decided to show the china ppl some of the photos since they don't really have much chance to see them. You know, a bit of pity for them. They are like so vain lah; every photo also not nice and say should delete. hahaha. And when it's uploaded by don't know who's camera on facebook, you must see the photo of our 2nd take of a very cute post 1st done by halu. hehehe. Then Ah zhen the best one; she then hand itchy and borrow my laptop and showed some OMG chinese videos website to the ppl still there. Now i know what kind of OMG stuff ah zhen watch in her free time.

Now watching AC Milan vs Inter. I use to quite like AC Milan in the italian league but inter was like all over milan right now. 3-0 at moment but i know it'll be 4-0. In case you don't know, inter are the only team that i can watch live and yet fall asleep. Later will be watching roma vs juve. I prefer roma as a attacking team but think juve got the edge.

And oh ya... Man Utd 2-1 Arsenal. To think i was quite tired after a long day so went to sleep at half time. All utd goals came in 2nd half.

And i feel the too much football is beginning to take its toll on me. My touches and feel for the ball has been momentarily gone. Haiz... And i still got matches on 12, 16, 17, 22, 27, 30 and still haven't put in SMU WS friendlies before SUniG starts. Haiz...

2nd week of school (so far)

2009-08-28T11:24:00.004+08:00

After testing out quite a number of stuff to solve my cough, i hereby proclaim 'chuan pei' doesn't work and also take doctor's medicine with absolute care. None seem to cure my cough thus i am still getting coughing fits(don't know how to describe it)now and then whereby i'll cough really badly till wanna vomit that kind. But guess it's much much better already; just that my life gives me no time to recover.

Week 2 of school; SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!! Someone need to seriously tell the prof that it's only week 2; how much stuff have we learnt to do assignments? I am kinda stuck with the assignments and project so far. Haiz... And i fell asleep in class during SE on thur(yesterday). First part of class was teaching academic stuff so i listen. Then 2nd part was about subversion which is so so mundane so i fell asleep. Very bad of me but if i didn't sleep then i guess i'll somehow doze off on the field during training. hahaha

Anyway, yesterday training was like freebies day. hahaha. So much new stuff for me :-D But i still got cage later and match tmr. Haiz...

The countdown to SUniG draws closer.... SMU CAN WIN IT! SMU WILL WIN IT! But 1st, have to create a wee bit of history to get a step closer to this big chapter of history in SMUWS.

And i am suppose to wake up early today to get my butt in school to do homework/assignments. Woke up; think i'll still be more of less stuck; slept a bit longer. And when i reach sch, here i am blogging away and also FB-ing. Damn... Talk about discipline.

Drowsy

2009-08-23T22:29:00.007+08:00

Came back from clinic just now after being ordered by mum to go see doctor as she can't stand my constant 100 times per minute coughing(exaggerated but you get the point). The fees so expensive as it's sunday. Mum even wanted to keep receipt so that can claim from me when i started working. hahaha. But ya... My coughing over the past week hasn't gone away but become worst after match yesterday. Now feeling a bit drowsy due to medicine but ya.. coughing at like 10 times per minute now (again exaggerated but you get the marked improvement).

But i am kinda glad i had my debut yesterday. I waited and waited so phew it finally happen. And started as well. But i feel i didn't contribute anything yesterday except a volley from a brilliant high ball from ah zhen which went wide (arguably could've done better. At least put it on target) and also a okay run where i dribble down half the field till around/near penalty area only to too excited a bit and ruin the pass to jill. Haiz.... Should've done better with that pass as if i am calm and got the ball to jill, she got a good opening to score. Otherwise, i am like huffing and puffing trying to get tackles in at my flank and then never win the ball which so reminds me of WYL last year where i am like that whole of game which makes me feel so off pace of game instead of on top of it. And i also played too high as well which make my LB play very high line too which is not good. Luckily she's superb. And i spent the whole time cough and tying my shoelaces(which i really have no idea why it keep coming off... Crap... I swear it is very tight). So ya, kinda glad manager took me off when my coughing got real bad till wanna vomit that kind. Then when i went off i cough so much. But later when i cool down a bit it got real better but as your can see, it did't get better the next day but worst instead. But all in all, kinda glad got that monkey off my back. But feel if i am in better physical condition, i can contribute much more(hopefully). So ya, hope i can fully recover before sporting this sat with the medicine. Well... watch this space to see how it unfolds as i still not sure what's the plan. But it's a winning plan for sure.

But one thing i realise; i think ah zhen still feel i'm right footed when i am totally all left foot. And i'll try my best to put into action gina's advice when she say i fall back a bit slow and told me to watch my game pace. But i still feel i didn't do anything leh... Why your say okay game from me? Ppl like shidah, gina, jill said okay. But well, i'll take it... Ah Zhen told me to be stronger in tackles and more confident. And i must remind myself to START COMMUNICATING!!! OPEN MY MOUTH AND TALK!!! It's one thing letting the key players be the one talking to make key decisions on field so that game flow as they wanted to but another thing having hunger for the ball when you got yourself into key position. But 1 thing i am glad i probably helped is i got us into 2-0 lead before i got subbed.

So ya... Feel it's a match which we could've score 6 or 7 with the amount of clear chance we got but 3-1. So many shots from ah zhen, halu etc looks got correct technique and it can go in but somehow just miss. Shidah scored 2 brilliant header from corners. But i feel last time NYPGA is stronger(arguably) as ppl like sly, yuki (the police player... not sure if it's her but i remember got jap in last year NYPGA team) left. And i didn't see sher's friend whom is a great acquitance to me as whenever i got chance to talk with her, she never failed to advice me and gave her frank assasement of my game.

okay... really giddy now. Till next time...

1st week of school

2009-08-22T00:02:00.007+08:00

I swear there's SMUg virus or sth in SMU. This is the 3rd in as many sem that when i start school, i'll have fever/flu/cough/etc... You get the point... I am coughing and sore throat since first day of lesson on tues. Mum just ordered me to eat 'chuan pei' which hope will makes me better in a flash; i need to be tip top for tmr game against NYPGA. But currently feeling much better than first 2 days of lesson which i really struggle through will sleepiness on top of unable to concentrate due to my constant feeling kinda sluggish.

I think this sem will be a huge challenge for me(like since when it's not). One of the module which seniors could take with me, i am in a class of like who's who of SIS. Then another (PMSB) which only my batch took, the top students are in my class. Haiz... Then for the killer module of all SIS students, i am grouped with a group consisting of me-> local, 3 china and 1 thai. GOD BLESS ME!!! It'll be a challenge but i have confidence it'll turn out to be the best group ever for that module. But still, GOD BLESS ME!!!

Kinda tired and breathe a hugh sigh of relief after vivace (SMU's CCA day) as it's really unpredictable how our booth will turn out as there's like change of plan just like that. A thing that we want to put here will have to end up somewhere else. Then all the last minute rushing to get the booth done. I have to make like 3 trips just to bring all the logistics over. Carrying the big box of tees make me sweat like i went gym. But thank God my mates helped me bring them back. But the booth turns out to be pretty attractive for freshies which is good as that means our player base will definitely increase. And there's like quite a number of exchange and foreign students too :-D

I'll be honest; i have no idea what i want anymore

School starting

2009-08-14T23:50:00.005+08:00

You could stop at enough.
Just another name on the teamsheet.
Happy just to turn up.

Or you could become their worst nightmare.
The one who turns a game in an instant.
Sees the pass no-one else sees.
Turns desperate defence into decisive attack.

Be the one that they worry about days before kick-off.
Who blurs the line between hate and respect.
Who can never be stopped,Only feared.

School is starting and thus i most probably will be busy so i'll leave your with this for the time being. Kinda motivating. I will be looking forward to school. BRING IT ON :-D. This sem is key for me as i have to show maturity as a year 2 student. I have to mature as a student.

And also it means SUniG (uni games) will be around the corner in september and i will be looking for SMU to prove strong again. I firmly believe they have improved since the NTU invitational and will continue to improve before it starts. How will it turn out in the end? Watch this space.

Oh God... I can't do much except to trust that you'll solve it by its roots. I have faith you do not give us strength to bring us so far only for it to end in the way no one wants to. Dear God, help us to be sensitive to your heart for our every step.

And i firmly believe you are helping me mature and moulding me to be more and more like how you want me to be. But God please grant me strength because i know i can't do this without you carrying me through.

Dying but not dead - Updated

2009-08-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

Went cage with SMU. Saw a new girl and she's awesome. Will be a great addition to us if she stays. Actually supposed to play 2 hrs but i left early 'cos i got Sengkang training. But still got to play a hr +-. And I got to play a bit more actually. The cage staff knew that i reached early and was so bored i hang around at another pitch to see guys play so he took a ball and then told me that i can go in there; about 20 mins earlier than our 4pm booking. So nice of him. So ya.. Spent a bit of time juggling, volleying (my volley always flew up so i practice leaning my body so that i can keep it low... Was good i must say as i manage to keep quite a big portion of them low) and right foot shots(still pathetic after today). Then they came and we played... Was fun i must say as long time never play with them though quite tiring and i feel i never gel with them on-field. They'll still be important as long as i'm still in SMU i have to say again. Sorry i didn't stay till the end and also have dinner with your :-(

So while being in my sweaty self, i took cab to hougang stadium. Lucky i knew it's somewhere @ Hougang ave 10 as the driver almost sent me to serangoon stadium. Muscles wee bit cramp and tight so did stretching straight when i reach there but the ppl there like WTH... But I always love being a bit early for training so that i can see the S League team train esp Noh Rahman and Indra the 2 national player :-D

Today training is key for me as after somehow letting being on bench overwhelm me when i am really fine for previous game, i need to remain calm. And all in all, despite a number of times i was still not on top of pace of training, i must say i thankfully remain calm. Started with running 2 rounds then quite a fair bit of up and down the breadth with passing and throwing ball to each other etc. I must say that period i am quite tired(don't know why) and never focus so i end up having to do 2 extra up and down with shidah. Sorry shidah...

Then did some passes which let me rest a bit and felt a bit more energetic after it. But i still feel i am not a technical player so my driven pass so slow and high pass not high. But the fun part is monkey with a differnce and 10 passes the 2 monkey have to run extra 2 rounds. They never realise it but everytime i monkey it goes very high and almost have to run. But phew only caught once so have to run extra 2 rounds compared to some who have to run 6. And i finally did manage to did a few of what manager suggested in the end so a bit happy. He told me to use 1st touch to bring ball into space instead of just stopping the ball in front of me. It'll bring more switch sides into my passing game. Actually ahying and halu said it too when last time another preety similar small training size and we did the usual monkey.

So ya... Kinda lucky as i could've been dead by end of training but i am glad i am only dying compared to the rest who could be dead already. And i got tickets for Sengkang vs Albriex on fri(14/8) from the kitman :-D Now to win any prizes albriex are generously giving away. 10 prizes @ half-time and AIR TICKET TO TOKYO @ FULL TIME.

And oh ya... This is a shoutout to DORCAS :-D She's being one of the closest teamate i have @ sengkang due to her being part of gina's gang OPPS :-D But ya... She, gina and jill have been the closest on top of the seniors like ah ying, halu, ahzhen and eng chiu i feel though all my mates are nice to be honest. Now she's going back to london to study. Will kinda miss her company... Must take care over there k? All the best yah...

School

2009-08-11T12:00:00.008+08:00

Exactly one week to school next tues. AND I AM EXCITED :-D I miss SMU, I miss schoolmates, I miss going for lesson, I miss tah-bao lunch and eat during project meeting; I MISS MY OCCUPATION AS A STUDENT

Anyway, if your notice, a lot have been happening in my blog. I've edited and deleted stuff away. Even caused a mini stir all thank to my emotional self. I SHALL NOT LOOK BACK INTO THE PAST ANYMORE!!! Move on and stop being emtional Erene!!!

SUniG SUniG where are you? I need you to come. To give me joy time. LATEST UPDATE AT 11.21PM: THERE'S NEWS REGARDING IT FINALLY:-D End sep is the period

And talk about changing, added a tag/chat box for fun. Wanna test and see how it'll turn out in the long run... Now my blog looking more and more what i want it to look like:-D Just that i ruined the HTML again while trying to solve the post section very narrow problem.

Anyway, take a look at this http://premierschool.wordpress.com/ the "for the love of GPA" post... I feel so connected to what the person is saying. Harsh reality of life of SMU student.

Change...

2009-08-06T10:52:00.001+08:00

Well... I've decided to change my blog skin. The old one is nice but this one not bad... I tried to tweak HTML so that the area for my post looks wider but i screw it up till whole layout look so dis-oriented and had to reset to default so will be looking at it more in detail later...Maybe i should try creating my own one... Definitely will look like what i want it to look like.

Anyway, the new song also not bad right?

Screw PSA for...

Quite tired after fitness training(jogged abt 8 rounds then do some core strengthening and sprints) on tues with ernie and shidah and then training yesterday. Muscles kinda sore but by tmr should be fine liao i think. Manager had to tell me to concentrate on my game during 2-sided. Haiz... Sums all up nicely... Yesterday training was quite fitness as well i think. But hope i become stronger and fitter after these 2 days. And most probably have another training before match on mon. Haiz... I know it'll take time and even then it might not happen but i'll learn to up my tempo and fit in to the tempo the team demands/should demand. Still feel i am at times just another player over there and just not good enough.

And talk about dilemma. Someone feels i did better in the friendly against police as my positioning is so much better. But another person feels i did better in the friendly against Arion as i was nervous against police. Hmm... I don't know leh...

Ooh.. - updated

2009-08-03T00:02:00.014+08:00

So it seems blogger saw my post and it got back to normal... Guess i should blog about it sooner; save everyone a faulty blogger. Hahaha... Now i can't log in to school email as the page just seems to stay there... Got no response it seems according to IT Dr. Erene's diagnosis. Damn... Got urgent email for me how?

Yup... Another match. Another win. Another clean sheet. Ah ying scored a goal i can only dream of. To be honest, the team (at least those that were there when it's discussed) knew the tatics against Arion and i was on the bench so i get to see how it goes. It went so well. Actually i am kinda sad Arion lost as after all they are the one who trained me up, who together with coach mike (and halu and ahying) got my soccer journey started. But ya... glad with the 3 pts. But i will still hope they'll do well by the end of the season.

I am sure my style of play is complete mis-match for that kind of game so ya... Honestly, i am very surprised this kind of chance to play in this league came knocking so i just take anything as a added bonus. I am not much prepared physically and mentally(physically okay as i still trained with BA through SMUWS though if i knew earlier i'll go intense personal training like what i did before youth league last year but suddenly switching mental gears to deal with demands of it is tough) for it to happen to be honest so i have no rights to complain whatsoever.

But manager tan , ah zhen and halu was so nice to talk to me and reassure me after the match on top of ppl like jill and gina who from time to time tell me to jiayou. Actually i have no idea why as i am okay seriously. Manager tan said that i have to learn to mix it a bit as he feels i control all ball that comes my way then pass and wants me to learn first time whacked passes if same thing happen. So now its a test of how fast i can learn. It took me a game against Arion under the guidance of ahying to learn the basic trade of a LB and have a much more stable game against Police. And i have to learn fast because next match against police...(maybe... just maybe)

Do you know Ah Zhen is actually afraid of the dark? hahaha. She's supposed to go back to the FAS office to keep the balls and there's no one there and its night so she feels its dark thus she dragged me along. And guess what? It's like so bright near office there with the lights at the alleys that should be bright enough for her to be brave enough to open office door and switch on office lights loh... Hahaha... And her desk is actually next to SMUWS golden alumni Sharon. And get to see those quite big bosses desk as well :-D But Halu and Ahying desk is downstairs :-( So ya... She encourage me to continue training hard. She's the one who got me in after all. We then go on to exchange our views. She got a great football brain actually from what i heard she say. Her views really wowed me.

And Halu and Ahying is so cute :-D Last time when they took Ngee Ann, there's only limited chance to interact with them but spending more time with them i realise they're actually such fun ppl to work with. They're always the one cracking jokes and damn funny one as well... And their personality is also damn funny. Their simplest reaction to things e.g. handphone ringing can get everyone laughing.

Someone said "Eh... So you're not playing for BA already" when i saw her after the match. Again there are ppl who thought i was transferred from Bernard's team. But i told her all the while i am only there for SMUWS. Then she like enlightened. Well... I know there'll be plenty more of these coming my way...

Just what is wrong?

2009-07-31T23:15:00.008+08:00

I am studying IT which means i am supposed to know how to deal with the problem blogger is giving me but sorry i don't have a single idea

What is wrong with it to cause everyone's blogger to broke down
What i can do to help everyone solve it

But I do know HTML so i have no problem posting photos like this one

Alignment will be weird though but can be solved via the HTMl tag. So conclusion, it's good to learn IT so that you can get around the problem :-D

Bet my whole body is in bruises

2009-07-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

Woh... Guess my body is in pathetic shape now. Today is supposedly my WPL debut but flu just refuses to go away. So guess i wasn't even sharp enough. One of my teamate (think its zita) asked me why my eyes look so bloodshot/teary/whatever. Then someone(might be her too) also said i just don't feel normal from my preety active self. So guess its a good thing that i didn't play after all.

Woke up this morning. Wanted to go SMU training. Then my mum who is supposed to wake me up said it's raining. I can hear the rain too. So i was lazy and went back sleep... Opps... Then woke up later with stiff neck siah... Now can't really turn my neck without pain. Must be revenge for not going training. And the best part? I was looking outside window just after i wokr up and the ground look so dry lah -_-"

My kicking has been fine and i can play but i injured my thigh/groin during training starting of july(those there will remember how i was icing and stopped training midway) and it still hurts from time to time. Haiz...

But Sengkang started on a good note :-D 1-0 and 3 pts in the bag. Shidah scored a cooly taken goal :-D Wonder where we'll end up in the table by end of season but take it one match at a time bah.

For now, it's recovery recovery recovery for me. Please don't ruin my soccer at the time when it matters again. PPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSEEE. And oh ya... School starting soon. I am becoming bored at home without ellen show to watch so school pls come quick! And ya... That means SUniG is coming soon too(hopefully). YIPPEE!!! I wanna kick school football... Miss it alot.

What a time to fall sick... haiz...

2009-07-21T22:21:00.005+08:00

Oh man... Just before i will be making my women premier league debut this sat, i fall sick just days before it right now. And best thing is i most probably got it from my sis. Now i am in a race to be fit before sat so that i am at least available for selection. Popped panadol already. Hoped it works.

And to think i have SMU training tmr. I am gonna miss another training i think. Haiz... At this rate, i won't be selected. Got this and that stopping me from going.

Sengkang had their 2nd friendly match on sun against police. Always hard match(even though not as tough as Arion) as they are a experienced group of players. It was 1-0 to us, then 1-1, then 2-1 to us, then 2-2 again, THEN FINALLY ITS 3-2. WHAT A MATCH :-D Played at LB. I owe a lot to Halu and Ahying and eng chiu who never failed to guide me, talk to me so that i won't get caught out too often. Turn out i guess i had a okay game. I have more freedom when i play for SMU which always lift my game but i am getting the hang of most probably my position for them which is good as i really want to be a all-rounded player and playing attacking for here and defensive there will sharpen my all-round game.

Happier note

2009-07-17T18:57:00.007+08:00

After the seemingly sad last blog entry, guess it's time to write stuff that's less sad and apologetic.

I am SO SO SO SO missing AYG. That week i am on duty at OCC has been so awesome i am getting AYG volunteer withdrawal syndrome. Miss those foreign and local coaches, officals and athletes. Also miss the excitement duty bring. The bowling action got my adrenaline pumping and interacting with follow volunteer and workforce has been so great. Now i wish i can stay like that or fast forward to YOG. One thing i won't miss though is the food. Sorry for that.

Wednesday helped out together with SMU WS mates at sports camp. Was fun i tell you. Getting to see possible future teamates was awesome. And there's some who are good. Now to do follow up job. Just about spent whole day there and play soccer among ourselves before that. Was great fun as no stress whatsoever.

Yesterday played for Sengkang for our first ever friendly match. Yah... Think its time to let your know that i'll be joining them this year. Next year is tentative as uni will take chunks out of me and it'll be impossible to balance both. Against Arion which means a tough match no matter what. Lost but think we show great promise considering its our first ever match. Now to make sure we move forward before our first match against YW. Personally, i had a horrible first half which i feel i absolutely not into the pace. 2nd half was much much better where i finally got into the pace and beginning to exert myself on their right flank a wee bit. I feel i won't be so chuan by half time if i play LB which will help the team but i am used to playing attacking roles so a learning curve for me which will help me. I need to be strong defensively as well and not just think about attacking.

And WTH lah. 2 of my aquitance from BA who joined arion youth team actually asked me "Eh! You never join BA argh!" -_-" Shall not go into that even though i really own them a explanation and apology. Then the super blur arion goalkeeper actually pass the FAS registration form that is for their youth team to me and asked me to fill in. -_-" some more. But honestly speaking, there is the place i almost end up in. And... ?

Heard NPFC played a great match against ITE despite losing. And a close one as well. Bravo NPFC. Great to see the NPFC talent pipeline continuing. Makes me feel proud when i tell ppl i started my football there.

Okay.... S league showing now... till next time then...

To you, thanks and sorry

2009-07-11T21:56:00.004+08:00

We had one of the best chat we ever had this morning. I believe you too. Think there's no need for more proof that our relationship is healthy.

In fact, you're the one who is patient with me as i go so so down so that i could climb much higher. You have brought me further i must admit. I know how much you've done for me and i really respect and thank you for that.

If THAT really angers you, all i can only say is i am really sorry. It's not i am not...

Just that the question i needed to be asked came from them and not you. I would've say yes if you asked. I promise. I even have to turned down the place i still continue to dream about because they were late. I am not desperate you see...

FOR THE TIME BEING, please give me your blessing as i fufil what i have already promise to them. And don't be angry anymore. I am just a nobody that will only waste your anger.

I will still try to give my best to ... i promise.

Will talk to you on mon if need to.

Talk about fish and pond... Haiz... I still don't know...

AYG :-D

2009-07-08T11:54:00.005+08:00

Volunteering is so fun! It's been a wonderful experience unlike any other where i get to meet so much ppl from all countries and all walks of life. The athletes, coaches and officals have been friendly and kind. They're also understand to any transport delay/hiccups/etc which i am helping out in. There's actually a big mac and harry potter in the bahrain team according to their bowling association's VP. hahaha. And the eye candy is the Japan athlete who got so many photo request.

Regarding bowling action, it's being great. HK guy bowled a 299 and Hui Fen bowled a 300. But great scores all around too. Hui Fen backswing for a female is truely remarkable. A pity she could not make it 3 gold and a silver but 2 gold and 2 silver instead with her lose in the masters final. South Korean has been strong overall though it seems HK guys are strong. Then the japanese keep shouting lai-choo or sth like that before they bowl.

The best part is collecting collar pins. Everyone at my venue have been busy asking, receiving, exchanging pins just like all the athletes were too. I've quite a number of them as well. The philippines one i got is while i was walking to my station their coach saw that i have none so he gave me one. So nice of him. China one is just when the final offical is about to board bus on her final day she gave me one and thank me for all the help. Think it's because i talk to her everytime while waiting for bus to relief her boredom. Nice of her too. But the best have to be HK one where the offical/manager/coach (i forget... opps) specially leave one for me and gave it to me just before he left during the final day. So nice of him right? :-D

This pin need a paragrah. Christopher (Singapore athlete) and a HK athlete was asking for my AYG badge which is given to me by protocol head. So i pluck out and gave him since i got it for free. Guess what? Both of them wants it so they're a bit fighting over it. But then i tell christopher that he can just spend $2 and can get it already. But he still wants it. So me, not wanting to make the HK athlete feel sad, ran out and bought one for him. So i thought end of story; back to duty. But a while later while doing my rounds(slacking and watching games inclusive), christopher saw me and gave me the SNOC badge which not a lot of ppl have :-D Thanks a lot Christopher for the nice gesture.

I must've been a pin magnet seeing how much ppl just saw me and gave me. I don't even have to ask. So i got quite a decent collection of pins thought not the largest. Thanks all who gave me. I also got the girls masters winner Sim Ui Jim's signature on my accredition pass. Her signature got a star some more. So cute.

And then my team also got a buggy driver. He keeps driving the athlete for a short trip(dou fong) to relief their boredom. But they keep wanting to drive it. hahaha. Really fun seeing how happy they can be just sitting in it for a short trip.

Happy Birthday Ruud

2009-06-30T23:51:00.007+08:00

Still my flying dutchman after so so long :-D Happy Birthday

On the ascendacy

2009-06-27T23:21:00.013+08:00

Played today in friendly match for SMU against BA aka AMK Utd aka MR. We won 2-0. Woo hoo :-D 2nd half we're holding on to the historic result to be honest but still a simply superb morale boosting win. Everyone really showed that they've really improved as a player and also SMUWS as a unit as well. Now to build on this as Bernard said. So ya, a great day for SMUWS. WE'RE ON THE WAY UP :-D

Well... Guess i'm becoming a lousy player like ronaldo. Bernard shifted me to be striker today maybe just like how SAF was fed-up with him as a winger and shifted him to striker. I thought okay.. That mean i'll just stay up. Then just before whistle blow, my mates started telling me to drop a bit deeper. So kinda like playing attacking midfield. Did fine inititally but become a bit patchy afterwards before 1st half ends. And i think i didn't pass enough ball and also wasn't sharp passes as well. Then my mates feel i drop to wings a bit too often. So i got mixed feeling regarding my 1st half performance.

2nd half rested for a bit first before going back in as right mid. I was like headless chicken. Completely don't know what to do or wat i'm doing. Think i can only play sth like that at street soccer court. It was a horror show honestly speaking. The funny thing is i was telling someone(forget who)"I was like wu tou ji in 2nd half". She said "yah lor"and then we both started laughing.

And then after the match it rained. Was preety dry inititally but while sharing umbrella with jipo to get to sarah car to go for meeting, the umbreally suddenly flip up and then we were completely drenched. AND MY HP GOT DRENCHED TOO! OMG! Think the HP performing okay but not like normal now leh...

And oh ya... I'll be busy for AYG from sun onwards till following mon so won't be updating anytime soon i guess. And that means i might miss a match or 2 of NPFC's POL-ITE matches... haiz...

Back :-D

2009-06-23T14:17:00.009+08:00

I'm more free nowadays after coming back from 2 consecutive camps so i'm here to update on stuff...

Commomwealth camp was great. I was there as camp parent and eleora, yinxi and eunice is in my group. My kids consist of eden, yu yang, noelle, ashlyn and davin. It's a blessing from God that i got them, be it the kids of fellow camp parents. I feel God really planted seeds among the kids during the camp and also use it to mould us camp parents. I personally learnt a lot during the camp like how to be alert to God given opportunity and also how to interact with kids. It was tiring as you have to match the kids energy level but thank God he sustained me throughout although still feel shrek during the camp from time to time.

Then went for cell retreat. It's good relaxing time and great time for reflection together as a cell. Talked about accontability and i feel after this retreat there would be a much stronger culture of acountability where everyone would be more open to sharing about more areas of their life and also where everyone is a listening ear. Also talked about relationship issues like between cell girls and also across gender for cell girls and guys. Discussed a lot of things and have lots of HTHT. Thank God for a good period of being still before him and not letting things of the world distract us as a cell.

Now the next busy stuff i'll be involved in is AYG where i'll be on duty from 30th june to 6 july. I'm looking forward to a good time where i'll get to meet people from all countries and all walks of life. I'm still not fully equipped for duty as i haven't even got my accredition pass, shorts, caps and other logistics stuff.

And it seems SMU will be having friendly real soon. Not sure it'll be against who though. But i love being back in action. SUniG is in aug and i am determined not to let this chance to do well for SMU and push them further up the football hierchery slip me by. Jia You!!! And also ... is in Aug. I think most of your still don't know what i'm saying but i'll tell your when the time come i promise. All i can say is i got myself into sth damn tough. Lots of football action for me then. Come confidence come!!! I WILL DO WELL!!! MY TEAM WILL DO WELL!!!

busy busy busy

2009-06-16T18:58:00.013+08:00

I'll most probably won't be updating very often due to 2 consecutive camps that stretches from tmr (Wed) till Mon and then my soon-to-begin AYG duties. Then i've to prepare for SUniG and ... WOO HOO!!! Soccer action. So i'll just create this bullet for updates on how the camps goes briefly and stuff. I'll most probably update by entries when everything is doen and dusted

Commonwealth camp was great beyond my wildest imagination. Thank God. Full updates to follow soon
I have no idea why but AYG preperation feels just not enough for everyone from the management down to us volunteer after going for training
Cell retreat came at the right time to be honest. I was shreked by children's screaming and energy level during commonwealth camp and going straight to retreat let me have great time of Rest, Relax and Reflection. Talked about great serious issues too.
Thank God i survived these 2 consecutive camp
And Bernard 'report' to me regarding the AMK vs NP friendly the second i step onto training ground today(22/6) -_-

Haiz... No football for now then... Please be discipline and don't grow fat Erene!!! Especially with school resuming soon (Aug) which means SUniG is coming soon too...

Last thur @ Kovan to 'accompany' my friend for ... and Mon @ NP (Yup... I was back there) to settle my ... was one of my saddest moment ever. It could've been so different. Yes it's a chance unlike any other. I mean, who would wanna miss this kind of chance? But i gave up enjoyment, i gave up possible family, i gave up possible unbelievable moments that i'll cherish for life. All for the sake of... But i am sure it can and will be great. It can and will be ranked as the best moment in my life too... Let's see how things go.

Diva Diva Diva - edited spelling errors + stuff

2009-06-06T19:50:00.008+08:00

Diva today was fun... Saw a lot of ppl which is so great. But it also means that i'll face a lot of tough competition too... But well... Impt thing is having fun. The best thing that happened today is actually the pagent. Makes me laugh like crazy. But damn hot day. I was actually burning under the heat till i like become shrek and giddy.

And come to think of it, i am glad my SMU coach Bernard is nice to me. As in, i realise he's willing to talk a lot to me, advice me on my play and just simply feel free to talk about the world to me. He could choose to close up because i think i am a person who just can't seems to catch stuff being told but glad since i trained under him, he's help me a lot to be honest. Give credit when it's due i guess bah. Apart from the frustrating and ... moments that will really piss you off, he's okay. View changing it seems. But still... (So view not changing??? OMG! I'm confused).

And i actually laugh at him when the fixture throw up BA 'A' vs BA 'B'. He's cool enough to just ignore it and grumble about the absence of the flow chart of the knockout stage b4 grumbling to Ryn when i choose to leave or when i direct him to ryn. Hmm....

And i feel i am glad to be in SMU WS because they are such a wonderful bunch of mates to have. It really dawn on me during the pagent. They really open me to a whole new world of football fun. But NPFC will still never leave my heart. They're simply such a significant milestone that it's impossible not to feel sad if they feel sad. Another hmm...

My team did well today. The beauty of team sports is that if I didn't do well, my teamates will cover for my off day. I feel i didn't really got going today. No excuses but today i think i make so many wrong personal choice the moment i woke up from choice of breakfast to ... Thanks my jipopuipui mates for not feeling a bit frustrated at my off day but still encourage, advice and motivate me. Really... I think this is the worst i've ever did in fico/cage. Reached 2nd knockout stage which is a great result and WE DIDN'T LOSE IN REGULATION TIME which is good. And the penalty shootout lost was a real pity. But still good result overall.

The exhibition match i played in against the BCF was a whole lot of fun. Felt a bit sad didn't get to play against YW but well life's like that. Just move on. BCF match was a whole lot more fun so my sadness all gone.

And sneaky stuff happened during diva. All i can say is it's not in cast iron as in formalised yet so...

diva memories + preview

2009-06-03T22:37:00.006+08:00

Just finished looking through past entries abt diva. It's archived under 2007 and 2008 june entries so if you want can read them. I've joined 4 times already and it'll be my 5th time this sat(if i remember correctly). Almost couldn't find a team but just managed in the end. Phew...

My memories of diva had been wonderful. Must mentioned 2007 as my team won 3rd in the 2nd tier compeition. Before that year, NPFC have been finding it tough. Don't really recall my full team except yating as she led us to dizzy heights that time. Breakthrough year you must say as we really don't expect it. Still remember yating telling me bernard say i know where to run (or sth like that)... Hahaha... what distant memories...And i also remember a lot of them tell me if i want to play striker pls perform... hahaha... i was such a soccer noob then...

2008 is even dizzier heights. My full team is me, gala, deemei, surinah, wan ran, erika and matt(i think). Still remember a few of them were feeling quite sad that we're so called the weakest NPFC team on paper. Then we went all the way to top tier 4th place. Really happy even though we should done better as i still swear we're the best team that year... Everyone really did well from deemei and surinah hard running, wan ran composure and even erika and matt did really well too with composed performance but credit must be given to Gala who was on top form that day. Still remember the quater-final which is so impt for us as we win we accomplished our target of placing finish. Everything just about went right for us as we block just about every shot opponent gave. That seems to be my best diva soccer match memory...

These 2 years are the highlight of many diva memories from walking very long from bus stop to turf city and also my 1st one at eunos which had the presence of a american team to lend their support. And that might be the 1st time i saw ppl like ah lu, ah ying and ah zhen even though i have no idea who they are then playing for sengkang punggol... Now they're such impt mentors in my little soccer journey esp ah lu and ah ying. Then also the best thing which is diva clinic which i still remember sun jie taught me headers. She keep telling me to head ball not let ball meet head i still remember. I still think i never really able to do it till now.

Sounds like free diva advertisement right? Haha... And it seems fico is a auspicious and great place for me... 2 placing finish in 2 tourny there. On top of the superb (but tiring like crazy...) arion trainings i had there which really expose me to top level so called A team training. just imagine... you just return from break and they are close to WPL kick-off or just started. Of course you'll be way off the pace. And i met rebecca who's now in NPFC.

So ya... Training a bit with amk utd at teck ghee cc for diva recently... Was sick b4 that so i feel i am not exactly in top physical condition(a bit chuan here and there) but great to kick ball again esp b4 such a impt date. Didn't have chance to kick together as a diva team during those training but seeing my mates play i think we should do fine... It'll be hard for me personally to replicate last year as my last year team was simply superb but when we qualify for top tier we'll take it one match at a time and i think we can do fine if we do so...

What a match!!!

2009-05-28T23:44:00.005+08:00

Man Utd vs Barca was such a great match. Watched it at my uncle's house and it's such a great game of football. Man Utd lost but what a great barca team it is; totally deserve it. 1st half Man Utd did okay even though barca had control of the match. 2nd half man utd completely lost their way and plot completely. Look total amateur with no game plan. The thing about this match is man utd perspective is that if man utd attack barca as they lost a lot of defender, it will leave gaps which is danger but if don't go for it and sit back, it is also dangerous as it allow barca to flow and pass the ball around. Very dilemma. BUT MAN UTD WILL BE BACK STRONGER THAN EVER I AM SURE OF IT

I always think and still think messi is better than ronaldo as ronaldo is too self-centered kind of player. He should look at how to use his good performance for the team(and i know... i talk as though i know a lot). I watch the semis highlight b4 the match and there's this simply selfish moment where he scream at fletcher to give him the ball when it's no difference as he's just next to him and when you see it you'll feel for fletcher as he should carry on i think and maybe most of your would think. But both are really world player of the year in their own right.

Played a lot of street soccer on mon and tues to up my tempo as it's against guys. Ended up having running nose and a bit feverish on wed and didn't go training. Haiz... And after staying up so late to watch CL, it become worst...

Played with the guys who everytime call me messi (and i still have no idea why till now). Great tough game for me to learn as i feel i can be more myself and not a bit panic because it's them and end up not doing the stuff i usually can do. But there's this simply awesome moment. The ball is high up. This guy stop it with his chest and there's someone pressing him. The ball still in the air. He immediately knew if ball drop will let him get it and he did a back stall. The defender's chance to get ball is completely gone. So it's a nice chest control then stop ball on back. Damn zhai...

Ruud Ruud where are you??? It's so sad not able to see your fav player on the field playing. In case your don't know, the same knee that prevent him being a utd player for a year is injured again. But recent news is he'll be back during pre-season which means will see him next season :-D AWESOME!!!

Damn that ankle

2009-05-23T22:40:00.010+08:00

This few days had been soccer bonanza(?)... After playing street soccer on mon/tues, training on wed, i was at Jalan Besar to catch the A division finals btw VJC and SAJC on fri. Saw some nice moves but i think its the too noisy crowd(my god... the atmosphere is better than any guys national team match) which make it hard to communicate so it's not the best women soccer match i feel... 3-1 to VJ but the SA goal (FK it is) was of the highest quality... Was camp hopping all the while during the match even though i should be supporting SA given my strong SA links due to church... Quite fun doing so... hahaha... And i wondered why SMU WS lost to VJC... Well... Let's not dwell on it...

and i couldn't believe how much ppl i saw due to coicidence... When i reach stadium, i was still looking around when my eyes just manage to caught ah lu, ah ying and ah zhen who was nice to wave at me... Was still deciding where to go then my cell mate eunice who were a SA student walked past me. Then SA side too crowded so i sat at VJ there. The moment i sat and lifted my eyes after looking down at the chair, charmaine greeted me with much enthuasism. Think it's been a while since i last saw her so nice to see her... Then i decided standing at the railings was better. A bit bored so turn around to relieve boredom; zidd and deemei was walking past. Then i turn again and it's sharon. OMG! I most probably wouldn't have meet all of them if not for so much coicidence...

Stayed to catch the S league match... Not a bad game... Noh Rahman and Indra Sahdah was the deciding factor between the 2 side in the end i think... Just that the atmosphere was so hostile and quiet compared to the great atmosphere in the afternoon so didn't really enjoy it...

Today morning training... Had only 4 ppl... But still managed to do some stuff which will be good for the team and individially as we're given personal attention... Too bad didn't play 2 side... But... My left ankle which was injured before and during NTU invitational seems to be giving way again... Wearing compression now(again...) Haiz... Just when i thought the worst was over... It seems my left ankle is weak... Or maybe i just need to be more careful and LOCK MY ANKLE. IDK.

Bernard told me there's a match between the women SEA games soccer team and a league selection. I, not knowing what on earth is happening, say okay i'll go since i'm nearby @ potong pasir and then somehow said "I think the national side will win". Bernard gave me the a bit shocked and sad look and say "you never know". So i went not knowing what is going on... Guess who's one of the coach of the league selection... And the best part is, the SEA games side won 3-1 -_-" Now i know why morning he gave me that look... Feel embarassed come to think about it... He could just told me he's in charge of the league selection... This won't happen then... Quite a nice game... Actually i think both team were quite evenly matched... Thought i could catch ... in action but haiz...

I'm gonna make my move soon... If you(r) are still not going to do sth, don't end up thinking why i did what i did... Sorry to say this...

Blah blah blah

2009-05-21T16:21:00.008+08:00

My life recently had been eat, sleep, soccer, need for speed: PRO STREET(I just realise i told your wrongly the last time)and TV. Completing need for speed soon... Very fun i must say... I WANT A PC GAME!!! I WANT FIFA 09!!! But i got no money :-(

Recently got time so watched american idol finale. Happy for Kris Allen that he won despite it being a rather surprising result i must say. Adam got great voice but just feel weird... Hearing "We are the champions" during the result show makes me think about my aim during poly all over again. During my poly days, i aim to get a pol-ite medal b4 i graduate and luckily i got it in my final year. My own pol-ite was ruined due to ... but glad i at least help NPFC pushed tough boundaries that time and now the foundation is being build on. Now... To help SMUWS do the same thing... You see... When you talk about contributing to a team, it's sometimes not only about how many minutes you play but also the training attitude, winning mentality, the atmosphere you create and bring... the kind of infectious 'stuff' that you bring to the team also. So well...

Bernard talked to me personally about my play during training yst. He wants me to be a run and cross kind of player(sth like that) on top of some minor stuff... I think his kind of prefered wing play is like ... if i think of one SIN female player that's like that and she's the best in SIN i personally think so it'll be tough but that's what training is for right? But anyway... Did nth too much except passing, taking FK and game... Scored a goal and a assist during the game but my team kept passing towards the brick wall(then the opponent build up from her) and didn't pick out key passes so we didn't really got going. Kinda frustrating... But i was a bit blur during the game to be honest... So ya...

Think i need a new boot... My lotto zhero leggenda has being great(Thanks Coach Mike for the a bit sponsored recommendation... haha). It's very light and got great feel but think it's too big for me... I would love to get adiPure but not cheap...

And oh ya... I FINALLY GOT MY AYG VOLUNTEER ALLOCATION AFTER SO LONG :-D Woo hoo!!! I'll be volunteering @ orchid country club for bowling as a access control officer, assistant team leader. Couldn't believe that i actually got my Volunteer Leader position as during the interview, i just blurt out all the LTB(leadership and teambuilding) stuff i knew as the qns are all abt that. The nearest venue for me is actually Singapore Sport School which they never gave me or my personal fav which is Jalan Besar Stadium which they also never gave me but anything and anywhere is fine for me... Now to do my job well... Especially since i got a few ppl to manage on top of the whole world watching

This is home... Truely...

2009-05-13T15:41:00.007+08:00

I went home yesterday. Thanks for the warm welcome your gave me like "Hey! Long time no see" and "How are you?" and all the sincere smiles. Your are still so special to me and are still occupying that special place in my heart:-D But for now... it's see ya till next time(which i don't when).

In case your don't know, i have a x-box as my sis did sth to my house's broadband so i got mioTv(i swear i'll nag at my parents till they active sports group for me, esp when CL starts showing on mio) and x-box. Wanted to buy fifa street to play but can't find it anywhere. Haiz... So i bought need for speed: underground instead. Quite fun... I realise i can race(i can dominate like crazy)... Just that it took me a while before i know how to do drag racing as i don't even know how to heat tyres when i first play it. Thankfully someone gave me tips for drag racing so got the hang of it liao. The free game that came with it, idinah jones and kungfu panda, are quite fun games too. And i am damn lousy @ shooting games(call of duty).

Java enrichment course are so damn boring, this blog entry is written while prof is teaching a module. Some parts are really easy that i don't even bother listening. The few module afterward are the tougher one so guess i won't feel so bored then. But feel it's good notes provided(which is so damn thick)and serious time spend to make sure that part really get into your head.

The "How well do you know me"quiz on facebook is damn funny... It seems my quiz quite easy... No failure for my so far. But i failed sher's completely and failed nemo's quite badly. But my friend is so spot-on when she said it is not a true measure of how well they know me. 1 0r 2 my qns quite tricky but talkative me would've told you the answer one way or other... So those that haven't do, pls do and provide some entertainment and laughter for me...

Red face

2009-05-03T00:21:00.007+08:00

Oh my! My face is damn red now... Was training this morning with SMU WS. I think the heat really got to me and felt quite drained throughout the drills and small-sided match afterwards. The amazing thing is how my teamate has cooled down already yet i am still sweating 2 hrs after training. Tried some long high pass and i am glad my kicks are back to normal already; can pass from penalty line and first bounce of the ball is around the mid-line which i think is around the range i usually kick. Trajectory seems okay... Now for chance to try some corner kicks and free kick to confirm that i will indeed be moving forward. But i only got time to do them before training only during my NPFC training period it seems. Nowadays i practice them really rarely but corner still can reach around the penalty dot and free kicks still okay. The drills shows how rusty i am as my passing and stuff still quite off. The match... Was fun although hard as my team got 3 including me while got 4 opponent and I feel I did some nice stuff but i think the heat really got to me so i feel i was jogging instead of sprinting and will give people a tired impression. Through this training, i feel relaxed being back with SMU WS ppl instead of the a bit more pressurising environment of AMK Utd players. But i feel i need my energy back. Seems to me my fitness drop a bit from the short non-training period.

I got a new ball :-D Went queensway weston and fri. My nike ball quite dead already so bought a new adidas one; the roma finale ball that cost $29 when its original is $39. Not a bad deal. Now for time to play with it. Maybe play with the street soccer guys?

Just finished seeing 1st half of recorded geylang united vs SAFFC. My NPFC coach for 2 years, Coach Mike is the geylang coach so I am interested to see how he's doing. Seems to me he's working his magic. Since he's become geylang head coach, he only draw a match, others are all wins. But i am not surprised by it. He's such a special coach. Just see how he transform NPFC from whipping girls(boys?) to 2 consecutive 2nd in pol-ite and even took part in youth league which will go down as a significant milestone. The biggest thing he's done, i feel, is transform the mindset. When he 1st came, he totally transform me personally from a person with just passion but know nuts about playing it to a player that has ambition and knows it took really hard work to get there. He talks a lot to me regarding areas i can work on(he talked to me a lot about basics and working hard like doing core strengthening everyday) and the key thing is he makes total sense and does not hide what he plan and sees and it's always seems logical. But both of us have more or less moved on and I really wish him all the best as he continues to be geylang head coach.

Why? Why? Why? Everyone seems to be having more luck than me. I admit it... I am aiming high. I want to aim high. Aim for the moon(your know that quote....). I am not even falling among the stars but to earth it seems.

HAHAHAHAHA - updated AGAIN

2009-04-26T23:40:00.005+08:00

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-sg&vid=ce890329-6bbe-4144-a10b-ad390f548c18

This is so funny... The team is so stupid as there's nth wrong for ref to blow start as all of them back in their own half already.

Thought i could finally escape playing street soccer when i went AMK Utd training on fri. But end up i lace up boots and play street soccer styled field soccer for 2 hr +. Sianz... Quite tiring running for so long with only a bit of break... At the final around half hour i volunteer to be keeper so that i can rest. But i feel so much joy. Playing with guys recently, its quite demoralising not able to contribute much so when i am able start doing more stuff on fri, soccer become much more fun even though i am becoming sick of street soccer having played so much of it recently. Just that i think i become so joyful that i overdo all my tricks as you know i can finally release all my inner frustration. hahaha. Still think i need a bit of time to get my sharpness back as i am ruining a lot of shots, passes and made some wrong runs and decisions. Those ppl who played with me were right to be frustrated with me at those times when i am damn wasteful. I like the goal i score; dribble from own semi to opponent semi and score. But i would like to bring my teamate into the game more rather than i concentrate on myself looking to be playing good. A good player can bring the best out of their teammate too.

Maybe on the 4th time asking it'll be too tempting? But i will resist temptation and stick to my principles for as long as i can. Or is it just me waiting for ...?

Never update but i went to watch revolutionary road with my cell mates. Wonder why it's m18 when there's nth much really as sometimes the PG ones are worst. But a great movie that will get everyone thinking and discussing which my cell group did after the movie and discuss about some real issues that surface in the movie. Both Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCarpio (I am sure i spelt both names wrongly somewhere) were awesome in the movie. Next -> X-Men origins: Wolverine. Will be looking forward to it as i still like superhero kind of movie. Just that i always wonder why not much attention is given to cyclops. I like cyclops :-D

soscars + others

2009-04-22T23:34:00.005+08:00

Wow man! Soscars was awesome! Being my first soscar, i must admit it is a damn good event which really bonds ppl together. Being in exco so i have to organise it, must admit it is a huge relief it's over as we're still rushing stuff on the day itself but it's just damn good and damn fun. The best has to be jules. Ultimate respect for her adhering to dress code. Can only imagine last year when ppl like her and sumei and the rest of the crazily on batch of exco were organising it. And then have to thank Vicki as all exco were having their first soscars so we all don't know what it should be like (at least I am still firguring out) so she really help us alot. Of course thanks rest of exco for a job well done too. And christina for the venue. All in all, it is such a wonderful time bonding and appericiating each other. Feel so sad for the graduating batch as i'll miss them on and off the pitch as they really are such wonderful teammates and friends even though the whole team is too. My blessings to your as your embarking on next phrase of your life. And thanks everyone who turn up and make it a wonderful event. Hope your enjoy yourself.

Had one of my craziest soccer playtime ever. It's sunday around 1+pm and it's super hot like it has been for past few days and my cell mates and I were playing under the hot sun at SAS field. I feel good stepping to play on grass again after stepping on concrete -> street soccer recently. And i did fine too :-D Scored a half-volley and was part of some decent moves. But i miss at least 3 one-on-one to score(1 hit post some more) and some decision making could improve. And it's hard doing the stuff I can usually do like passes and drags and stuff against them being guys. My shirt was absolutely drenched from sweat after the game as it's damn hot.

And then more street soccer near my house again. It dawned on me the prestigeous company i play with and against there most of the time. There's like woodlands(they form the bulk), SAF, sengkang among other youth team players and even national player who have gone overseas and play in youth tournament before. It's damn tough but I always bite my teeth and try my best to do well and glad i am getting better by the game even though my form there did waiver at times.

And i could be back to real soccer training soon :-D Yippee!!! Time to get serious work in.

But on serious note, i think my form recently and for about a month would be quite up and down as it'll take a bit of time adjusting back to my routine or get into much tedious routine after being out of action (even though it's about 2 weeks only) after season ends. But i'll be back stronger than ever I hope which i think is possible given the progress I am hopefully making. Glad my standard didn't drop which is what i am worried because getting into a new team means you might have to use other areas of your game which might make what you usually can do quite rusty but from what I feel it's okay. Just hope it's not pre-season promise which fades away again.

YAWNZ!!!!

2009-04-14T12:59:00.004+08:00

Have been waking up @ 6+am and reach school at 8am this 2 days to study for exams... So sleepy and un-motivated to study for my last paper which is stats on thur morning. Guess its just that sth about maths and anything related to it that turn me off.. Morning i studied for my DM paper which is later @ 5pm and i am so awake. Now started stats a while and I am here so that i won't fall asleep... I just realise there's this thing about school; there no much place you can sleep... Last time in NP got some beanbags in library plus maybe others random place that i don't remember. SMU also similar situation. And i realise ppl don't fall asleep in school unlike me who feel so sleepy in school at times and is crying out for a nice sofa/bed/chair/whatever.

So ya... 3 papers, 1 down, 2 more to go. Yesterdays paper was funny as
1. The paper is 3 hrs. A lot of ppl finish it within 2 hrs. I finish in 1 hr plus but check and check till I leave at 2 hrs sharp
2. Some of the options in the paper makes me -_-". If you understand java there's protected attributes. They ask what it means. One of the option: "Java Developer must give more tender loving care to the attribute". -_-" Very cold right.... And another is regarding writing java for sth like exchange gossip. They ask what is the error in the code. A option;"Line ... It's never right to exchange gossip". Wah piang eh...

Yup... So i did went to watch ACL; SAF vs Kashima Antlers. Kashima Antlers is simply superb... Everything about them is so nice... I was within first 5 rows at JBS and seeing their running, control, passing up close you'll realise they are no wonder quarter finalist last year. Thanks nisa for helping me pre-buy tickets to this wonderful experience and following me there too along with some exchange students. Just too bad we're sitting at kashima's end so when we shout go SAF everyone look stunned.

Having been motivated by them and plus having more time recently, i have been catching up on a bit of soccer. Wanted to go training but felt i shall not go uninvited so in the end PLAY STREET SOCCER :-D Long time never play already... And i score a nice solo goal against ppl i usually play with if i go there and i usually struggle against/with them :-D Woo hoo... That's 1st time. 2nd time only got primary school gin na there and joined them in playing soccer-tennis(shall not explain since i think most ppl might know). They were amazed how hard i shoot but they always laugh when i miss the target which is embarassingly often... The goal is so small compared to the big goalpost i usually shoot against so guess a bit expected...But good shooting practice though... And thank God it seems my ankle is much better liao(Compared to during NTU invitation where i can't even kick)... I think i just need to watch my technique so that i do lock my ankle (like i even know what it means... Really... I just kick... I don't know what it means to lock/ know if i lock or not) and swing properly so the strength come from right place.

So close, yet so far
It's tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you

It's over

2009-04-07T09:44:00.007+08:00

Phew... Finally school is over for me despite lesson offically ends a bit earlier. Had my last project, which is an application, to settle and it ends at 1159pm on 6Apr thus still have to spend time in school. It's a crazy sem where i lost quite a lot of sleep. Worked in a lot of big groups too like 6 for stats, 7 for LTB which means can only meet after lesson @7pm and till like 11pm+-. It's been a pushing sem but been a great learning experience. Now for my papers. I WILL OVERCOME!!!

Wonder where i might be allocated to for my AYG volunteer. Not sure whether i'll be allocated to venues which would be fun or due to my diploma and soon-to-be degree would be allocated to IT stuff. And also not sure if i'll be a VL which means i'll take care of around 10 volunteer each. See how... Can't wait for my 1st duty day no matter what it is...Watch this space...

Tonight might be watching SAFFC vs Kashima Antlers in Asia Champions League. It's like a game late for me but still better than never. This would be an eye opener for me seeing high level football. I might take some valuable pics so watch this space.

Guess i'll be back in training soon. Just that my busy and stressful last 2 weeks has made me very un-discipline and thus i might have to do personal training like swimming and gymming to get myself on pace first before i return. See how...

And i aim to do sth so far only i see only one female soccer player in Singapore can do. It'll be an amazing technique to learn.

And please please please... Get back to me soon...I need to hear from you...I want to hear from you...

Need a life....

2009-03-31T19:29:00.005+08:00

School is really really tough... I have been losing sleep like crazy due to so much unfinished stuff. Have to going school early in morning, started going home ultra late like can reach up to 11+pm, do work till freak hours then burning my weekends in school rushing deadlines. I don't drink coffee but have been drinking them quite a fair bit due to me simply being drained physically and mentally. But thank God this week is last week. Then just study week and exam left which as your know i will not use it to study but rather to play football. Then its break till august. But so sad at how i have to burn weekend in school as i wanted to go cell group but if i do so really cannot rush on time so no choice.

A person asked me a really weird question. I'm asked "What does it feel seeing how much ppl are playing in challenge cup now and you might be playing but here you are not playing but rather slacking around doing nth now that NTU invitational is over? And you didn't play a lot during that tourny too." I am quite shocked but i feel yah... I can try my best to contribute to the team as far as i could and work hard to improve weak areas of my game(i just think of how much hours i spent in the gym to increase fitness and strength and sometimes i think how i survived it. Esp during my final year in NPFC where my fitness regime is crazy to say the least. But realise i spent more time each session in gym nowadays as i got access to treadmills even though i go less session) but if things were not meant to be i shouldn't whine and grumble and maybe desperate is the word. If i am deemed a person only good enough to be part of school level team and not at nationalwide level then so be it.

Anyway, i know a lot of your are really concerned about me. Like how you all hope time and time again that i make full use of the little time i have on the field to the max and finally fufill all that i might be able to bring to a team. I know i let your down time and time again with just how things seems to turn out this way. But i believe one day i will not let your down. My desire to be like ..(think only me know who i am mentioning here) is still there and i will not give up on ........ Be rest assured about it. Just that i grow to realise that i am just not good and should just accept it if things is not meant to be.

And... Time to start strengthening my ankle liao... I won't wanna let things be ruined again just because i got a stupid niggling problem so near tourny that even require me to desperately let it heal in 2 days during the short break period before our last game against RP. Come to think of it; limping to NTU to watch who i would be playing against knowing that i might well not play a min in it is preety stupid. Think after kicking ball at RP i really feel i am slowly getting my usual self back. Know how bad i feel when i couldn't even kick a ball from the penalty box line to the goal? It's damn demoralising. But i might not have time for football this week due to packed deadline. How leh? Guess its gym again but it doesn't help my purpose a lot. I need to kick balls!!!

结束吧！

2009-03-25T22:44:00.010+08:00

依玲真的累了。。。依玲不想再继续了。。。那么拼有什么用？有人说我不错有什么用？最后一定没有我的。

To think the signs looks okay on Mon training. Phui... But still... Great job SMUWS on the great result. Your deserve to enter your up and coming rest period on a good note...

But thank God my ankle seems to be getting better. First time i took free kicks without pain in a while when i tested it today. Still lack a bit of power though. Guess just need a bit more time for it to truely settle than i can start doing strengthening to get the power back.

Here's some photo from what is i think my 1st volunteer experience without the safety net of school. Its EARTH HOUR ppl :-D

The booth.I'm sitting where the empty space around the table is. The huge thingy at the back is so interesting as its set up using magnets and metal bars to hold the poster. The 2 person are in the same batch as me. Really fun ppl to spent this experience with. One is an working adult while other is waiting for uni applications. But the best thing is

This panda doll is so cute. Am really tempted to buy it that day but remain objective in the end and didn't buy.

Yawnz... So tired

2009-03-21T23:37:00.003+08:00

School is tough; really tough. I am really really struggling to find time to fit all of the stuff i need to do in. I have so many projects, so many task, so many other commitments. I have 3 projects deadline, at least 2 individual assignment/assesements, Earth hr volunteer, AYG training(think got high chance i'll be volunteering), soccer etc etc. I AM REALLY REALLY TIRED!!! Everyday wake up very early like abt 6.30, at least 10pm then start taking MRT home. But i believe God will give me strength when I am weak as his strength is made complete in my weakness.

Jiayou!!! Term ending liao!!! Long Long break coming liao!!!

Speaking of earth hour, PLEASE SUPPORT EARTH HOUR!!! Switch off on 28th match 8.30 to 9.30pm. Please please please... It's just 1 hr.

Friday play a training match against AMK Utd (FYI, they're known as middle rangers FC this time round -_-" So maybe next time i'll just use MRFC to represent them). This match is becoming fun as can play in relaxed atmosphere. Just that i am completely drenched afterwards as we play while it's raining and quite heavily too. Think SWU WS did fine considering the opponent who would be more gelled thus can string more passes with ease. And they arguably have more experience so know what to do without coach shouting better as Bernard was ref. NOW FOR WED! WE'RE COMING AT YOU RP!

Funny thing happens. Jiayi i feel is not a bad player but just lack experience and physical presence due to her small stature. But she's very willing to work and try to make things happen. She is so scared of them, maybe, that she ran to me and ask me how to guard me as a RB. I was in total shocked when she asked that. Imagine in competitive match... But i say do not think of just sticking too close to a opponent as they just run in circle can get past you already. Then i told what Coach Mike told me regarding the hand thingy. But still have no idea why 1. she asked me and 2. she asked arguably the lousiest defensive player ever.

In personal view, i feel so tired when i play entire 2nd half. Might be lack of match fitness though my stamina still okay i think(but still got lots of room for more stamina... But maybe this is the max i can ever reach with my heart condition?). But I realise my work is mainly at the middle 3rd of the field where i can find more space and spread passes. My work in final and defensive 3rd not as strong so must try to strengthen them. Otherwise i'll still be recognised that i can't attack and defend.

And thank God my ankle feels fine. Felt a bit of pain but gone very quickly so i can continue playing. Just that Bernard whined at me for missing 2 golden chances which will turn the match around immediately if i score both as it 2-0 then and if i score both it's 2-2. He said "see... Today miss good chance again...". I just look down to the floor, shook my head and sigh as i really don't know why. Maybe i just need time to strengthen my ankle as the similarity is that they're fluffed shots. Maybe i lack composure and get overly excited when i got ball in good position to score. Maybe i just don't know how to score.

I think i really can't head the ball now even though my heading last time is not even okay in the 1st place. Feel very unconfident might be due to very little practice for heading nowadays. Must find time to practice it more often and to remind myself to head when its time to and not always use my feet to control. And my weaker foot is still very bad. Like how i can't control high ball very confidently with my right foot. But i chest the ball twice yst :-D first one i have no idea why Bernard blow for handball. 2nd is chest and b4 ball drop to ground i pump it away for a clearance. And the clearance almost hit yating if i remember correctly. Boo me...

Haiz...

2009-03-18T00:22:00.006+08:00

This will be the state of my left ankle till thur

Yup... Get my ankle problem solved once and for all(i hope). Don't really catch the stuff being said when sinseh explain to me what happened to my ankle and all I know is thur i'll be free from that. Yippee! Few hrs only and i am really tempted to take it off liao. The sinseh wrap and wrap till quite thick like sth really serious happen like that. Well... only they know how serious or unserious it is. Fri will test it out in the training match against AMK Utd. Can't wait for myself to be back in full flow. But i know must have patience.

Saw the playoff btw NYP & RP. A match lacking overall quality i feel though got some good players on show. RP won 3-1 which means I WILL GET ANOTHER SHOT AT PLAYING IN A MATCH THAT BEAT THEM FINALLY. After 2 or 3 0-0 draw, it's time i finally do valuable work on the pitch and help SMU WS beat them and claim 5th which is not a bad position...

Damn... I wanted to watch the 1st ever Asia Champion League match in SIN but got stats mid-term. Haiz... Why did it have to be on same day same time leh? Make me miss such a huge match. And i still haven't revise huge portion of the materials. Haiz...

SMU vs NYP - edited (stupid errors)

2009-03-13T22:49:00.009+08:00

Today is our last group game and we need 3 pts or draw to finish ahead of our opponent. And indeed everyone played well today and won. Could've kept clean sheet but since it's academic in the end guess not a lot of ppl will bother. And even claudia can score within 10 touches(i think) since coming on as a sub with a great lob and did i even mention she's a LB playing @ LM? Everyone had a great game and did their part and it will bode well for our next match against i think RP(don't really know other group's situation) or NYP. Let me say I WANT RP!!! I REALLY REALLY WANNA BEAT THEM LIKE FINALLY!!! During pol-ite never had a chance to play them, league did play them but i am still kicking myself for not helping NPFC beat them as we should beat them but draw, then there's few weeks back where i had arguably my best chance to score and beat them but failed to do so. But i won't mind NYP again.

Isn't azean older than me? Just realised that she's most probably born in 82. What's she doing in NYP? But well who cares. I had high regards for her during my short stint @ kovan as she's training the youth team and also during a young womens match where i went primary to support coach mike but end up quite impressed by her. She's one of the finest midfielder i've seen and she did well today. Just that she had a shadow in kat today so her impact not as deadly i feel. Kat even follow her to the sidelines when she wants to have a drink. HAHAHA.. The whole bench was laughing like crazy when we saw it. Bernard should've tell kat to follow her to half-time talk. Make her task complete and whole. Hehehe

Think Bernard is quite sharp. He knows i want answers as to my limited personal contribution to the team and he answered me. He said that i train here, there and everywhere and it's making me a confused player and is stoping my development and told me to be more focused as in sth like be in a team and know the tatics, gel and stuff and do well there. He even used the good chance today which i ended up caught in 2 minds and did nth too productive in the end as an example of how confused i become as a player. As my coach, i feel i have to consider his advice and think through. Unless i videotape myself which i didn't it's tough to judge how much *whatever* i've become as a player. And will sticking to somewhere and do well there really help? And if that's truely the case; where is the place that is best for my development? And i feel it is also impt that it is the place i'll be happy and want to train everyday with. I do have a place in mind as i really feel i can develop best there if it does boil down to this stage but... Haiz... I really need to talk to someone as i really don't know.

My ankle really bad now. Still can't take shots without pain. Can still do ground pass okay but when i have to swing and use power i really can't. Range cut short liao and the after effect is bad. How How How? And the lack of playtime is making me lose stamina i can feel.

Went IT show today :-D Bought a maxtor 320GB for $109. Heard it's a good deal so bought it without much hesitation though come to think of it i have no idea why i spent $109 without blinking an eyelid. And PRINTER INK ARE EXPENSIVE!!! Bought a set for my home printer and its like $90 AFTER DISCOUNT! Quite ex. So all in all spent $200 without blinking an eyelid. OMG! What have i become. And you should've seen the starhub registration queue. Even longer than causeway jam.

Here it goes all over again...

2009-03-10T23:01:00.004+08:00

Feel sick of myself always unable to perform when needed. Always piah training piah friendly and feels okay but when it comes to the important period of earning pts, winning matches i always find myself not playing due to this and that. When will 1. luck come and i don't get things against me 2. i finally perform to my standard i can perform? There's people who no matter how bad they did they still nvr drop too much notches. I always drop so many notches.

Why can't i even take a proper kick nowadays? Still remember just after i linked up with SMU WS, i can take free kick which even i myself feel bit pleased. Can aim this corner, that corner. Now i can't even kick the same free kick with ease. My free kick can't even reach the goal without bouncing once which means completely no strength and trajectory whatever. Even my crossing is so inconsistant. Like how the balls i play @ RP i feel was fine but some games like VJC its bad. And Bernard knows it. And my mates can see it too.

Is it 'cos ... ? Then thank God at least .....

Still remember me talking about my ankle injury some time back? I aggrevate it again. I was practicing clearance during warm up and its okay though feel a bit loose and end up doing some weak kicks but when it was my turn to run and shoot, 1st shot the ankle feel super pain and was limping so i was standing there watching the rest do. Then during half time was doing same stuff again and again 1st kick and i was limping after the 1st shot. So my warm up during half time lasted <= 2 min. Don't know can even play against NYP or not, let alone get my butt on the pitch. So now i'm back on compression again and most probably will be icing later. Think it might be weak ligaments as i never really rest to let it recover in the first place. When you've such a environment, who dares to don't train due to injury. Even make my finger injury got worst when its a small one that could be solved when it happened if .... but ....

I enjoy my close relationship with you :-D Thanks for this 'secret' affair(well... not sure how secret it is)